


The Harsh Reality

by Egotron_boy



Category: Normal Boots
Genre: Comforting, Emotional, Gay, M/M, PTSD, Sad, Smut, Verbal Abuse, Wedding, abusive, agst, conversion thearpy, scared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-02-23 00:35:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 37
Words: 33,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23636182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Egotron_boy/pseuds/Egotron_boy
Summary: Jon and Austin better known as PBG and Jontron hang out again after a few years, both of the men have their lives set out and single but could the bromance between them be more than just friendship?
Relationships: Austin Hargrave/Jon Jafari
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

Jon was working on yet another Jontron video. After work he would usually go to a bar and chill out with his girlfriend but, he broke up with her. He loved her but he couldn't say the same about what she thought. She would steal his money, call him terrible names and throw thing at him. Of cource Jon was too stupid and in love with her to realize. At one point she grabbed a hold of Jon's pants and forced him to do sexual favors, Jon had no intent and left that night, but he came crawling back to her. The last straw was when he woke up in the middle of the night with a weird sensation near his stomach. He thought at first he was just a bit sick but then it got stronger. He opened his eyes to fine her riding him. He immediately tried getting her off of him whilst panicking. He got her off and pulled up his shorts out of embarrassment. Needless to say Jon has had a rough week. Jon was too tired to finish writing and decided to go for some beer to cheer him up. Jon grabbed his keys before going out. He always like going outside, something about the bright neon signs and the pidgins just made him calm. Jon was wondering how normal boots and game grumps were doing. Jon made his way to the bar and ordered a beer. As Jon sipped on the cold drink he thought about going to Ethan to hang out, but he has the baby right, Theodore. Maybe he could see a movie or go to central park and chill out or....maybe he can buy some ice cream and watch game grumps. Jon finished his beer and went over to a local Walgreens. Jon grabbed some ice cream, chocolate syrup and whipped cream. Jon went down the beer isle. He thought about getting some beer, bu he knew what would happen so he just paid and left. Jon rushed home so he could avoid unwanted contact. As he got home he grabbed Jacques and a bowl. Jon turned on YouTube and watched a new game grumps series. As Jon sat on his stomach he got a call. Jon answered his phone groaning. "What, this is Jon." "Jon? you sound tired, he man I'm in town with Ross, Barry, Holly and Dan. You mind if we hang out for some hours?" "Who is this?" "It's Arin." "Oh, hey Arin. Yeah, you have my key right?" "Yeah, so can we come over?" "Yeah, if your near a store pick up snacks and beers." "Okay see ya in a bit." "Yup see ya." Jon sighed and grabbed Jacques and put him in his cage. Jon pet the little bird through the cage. Jon sat on his couch and turned the game grumps back on as he laid down. A good 15 minutes passed before he heard a knock at his door. Jon opened the door to Arin giving him a hug. Jon didn't have much time to reach when he said "Hey, long time no see eh?" "Yeah, Arin." Jon sat down on the couch and invited them to sit with him. "I see you guys are doing good at game grumps." Dan and Barry both said "Yeah." Holly asked "So how's Sophia?" Jon was quiet. Jon hesitated to even add onto the subject. "I have no reason to see her." "Why what happened?" "She just-" Ross added "Yeah Jon I thought she was perfect for you?" "Yes but she-" Barry interrupted "I swear she was your type." Jon yelled "Well maybe if she didn't grab my dick every five seconds as well as throw shit at me, steal my money and call me names we would still be together." Jon rubbed his face. "I'm sorry I freaked out okay I just not been having a good week." Arin sat up in his chair. "Jon, what exactly did she do to you?" Jon huffed and said "It's embarrassing and I don't want to talk about it. Anyways you wouldn't believe me." Dan sat net to Jon and said "Jon, tell me what she did to you... Now!" Jon got pissed and screamed "She groped me! She called me a lying cheating faggot! She stole 50 grand and and raped me!" Jon stormed into his bed room. Dan followed into his room after. Dan walked in and said "Jon, why don't you call Austin. He's your best friend. You should get him to spend time with you. Get your mind off of her." Jon turned around and said "Yeah, but he's in Texas." "So? Call him then. You guys need to makeup your friendship anyways." Jon sighed and agreed. Jon grabbed his phone before saying "I'm going across the corner I'll be back in like 5 minutes." Jon went to the store and asked for a lighter and a pack of cigarettes. He came back like he said 5 minutes later. He already lighted a cigarette. He walked into the living room and said "Okay so Dan you said to call him?" Ross grabbed the cigarette out of Jon's mouth and stepped on it. "What the hell Ross??" "That shits bad for you Jon, stop smoking. I know ever since she broke up with you you've been doing it." Jon grabbed his phone and went into the other room. 

"Hey Austin?"

"Hey..Jon I haven't heard from ya."

"Wanna hang out a bit?"


	2. Chapter 2

"He said he'll be there in 4 hours. You guys wanna plays games or something, I don't want you guys to be bored." Ross Danny and Arin grabbed controllers and played minecraft. Jon Holly and Barry drank couple of beers while they watched. Jon yelled "CREEPER!" Danny's character fought the creeper. Jon laughed as he watched them all fight over a diamond. Barry said "Y'know minecraft is actually really fun." Jon said "Your damn right I used to play this with....." Jon paused he remembered if she wasn't being a total bitch Sophia was actually a nice person. "It's fun, that's- it's just fun!" Jon got up to get Jacques. He grabbed the small bird and laid on his couch as he pet him. "So how are you with Shane?" "Uh, we still hangout but I can't go on his videos thanks to normal boot contract." "Oh, I heard Austin's friend is watching his new dog." "Oh, what it's name?" "Her name is Azura." "Oh, nice dog name." "Yeah she's adorable." Barry showed a picture of the dog. Jon heard a knock but, only 2 hours passed so. Jon got the door and it was the pizzas, right. Jon paid the guy and put the pizza on the table. "You guys can eat if you want. I'm not hungry." Ross suggested "Jon, Holly came over a couple times man, you haven't eaten for days. You have to eat." Jon compromised and ate a slice of pizza. A couple hours of minecraft game play later Jon heard a knock. Jon got up and got the door again. "Hey Austin." Jon hugged Austin for a bit of time with Austin saying "Yeah? Jon sure you okay you usually just say hi. Why are you hugging me for so long." "I missed you Austin it's been horrible, m girlfriend broke up with me, I cant get material for my channel and I've alone and I just need you." Austin patted Jon on the back and said "Okay well sit down and tell me what the hell is going on." Austin came in and saw Barry at first. "What the fuck Barry too? Ross?......ARIN??!?!" All of them waved. "Jesus you got a fucking party of something?" Jon sat down and started crying. Austin freaked out and said "Okay, Okay Jon just stop crying! I'm sorry what do you want?" Barry sat in between Jon and Austin and said "Jon is a big baby when it comes to dating, he doesn't take break ups very well. I found that out the hard was in highschool, wouldn't stop crying for days." Austin kinda understood. "Okay well then all of us, out. Out of the house do something, go somewhere just get some fresh air." Ross agreed and said "You guys go to the hotel me and Austin will stay with Jon for a bit longer." Ross, Jon and Austin went out of his apartment and headed near central park. "We're gonna get your mind off of her, focus on us okay." Austin saw this ice cream place and said "Let get some ice cream man, I now how much you love ice cream." Ross said "Yeah in California I remember see you eat a whole thing of ice cream man." Jon smiled a bit and said "Yeah, I did do those hings didn't I?" Austin laughed and said "Yeah one time you called me and you told me that you and Arin did a race between who could eat the most ice cream in one sitting. Jesus, you guys ate like 3 pints of ice cream until Arin quit." Ross chuckled and replied "Oh yeah Jon just crashed after that." Jon finally started smiling an Austin bought the ice creams. Jon hugged Austin and said "Thanks, it means a lot that you are making me happy." Austin said to Jon "I'll tell you what, I'll stay with you for a couple weeks keep you company help out whatever okay?" Jon smiled and nodded before licking his ice cream again. Jon finished the rest and said "Okay it's getting a bit late let go home." The three men walked back and got to Jon's apartment. Jon turned his TV off and fed Jacques. "Bye Ross! Hey Austin, I can sleep on the couch if you want, you can have my bed." Austin declined and said "No,no it's fine I'll sleep on the couch." Jon nodded and turned off the light. Jon curled up into a ball before sleeping peacefully.


	3. Chapter 3

"C'mon Jon wake up, wake up! We're going to miss it!" Jon woke up, "What? Miss what?" Austin shook Jon awake puling his arm. Jon got off the couch and followed Austin to the window. here were rainbows everywhere. "Yeah Austin, it's pride month. What do you expect?" "I know but, it's so pretty." Jon laughed, "Yeah, it is isn't it?" Why was it so familiar though? Jon thought. Other than the fact it's pride month, why does it make him feel happier than normal. "Let's go see Arin in central park. We can go to lunch together." Jon sighed. "Alright, let me get dressed." While Jon took a shower and got dressed Austin snooped around. He found a old picture of Jon and another guy, they were kissing? Jon is gay? Austin started at the picture, it was from 2013. Jon looked young, he has some facial hair, not much. And the guy next to him, he had brown hair, blue eyes and he has smiling as Jon had his arm around him, kissing him. Jon walked out with a towel around his waist. He grabbed his shirt and pant. He quickly changed and saw Austin. "Hey, so you-" Austin hid the picture. "What? Oh..yeah." "What's that?" "What's what?" "In your hand." "Nothing." "Dude I can see it." Austin handed it over as Jon looked at it. Jon put it on his counter. "It's bullshit, don't worry about it." Jon walked into his kitchen to get the bird food. "Jon...are you-" "Gay? no, I'm not. I was just going through a fucking phase like my mom told me." "It's fine, I won't tell anybody-" Jon said in a louder voice, "It was just a phase Austin end of story." Austin huffed and was persistent on the subject. "Well, who is it? And why did you keep it a secret?" Jon turned around, "I told you, it's none of your business, it was a mistake and that's the end of it." "No wonder you always hated talking about sex in front of her, you couldn't do it." Jon saw red and was fuming. "NO! I AM NOT A FUCKING FAGGOT LIKE ARIN IS! I CAN'T BE! I LOVE HER! I JUST COULDN'T DO.....IT WITH HER!" Austin was stunned. Jon? Using slurs like those? That was not like him at all. "Jon, calm down, I won't talk about it if it makes you that uncomfortable, just please don't say that word." "What? Faggot? The thing I've been called my whole fucking life even by my parents? I'm not afraid of the word, but I refuse to be called something I'm not." "Stop saying the word, it's bad. And don't call anybody that, even yourself Jon. You not...that." Jon pause before letting out a long sigh. Jon sucked a breath in before saying, "Charlie, his name was charlie. He was my best friend in highschool. We met in math when I started my freshman year." "Why are you so...homophobic about yourself Jon?" "Because, my parents found out and my dad, the guys who helped create me fucking beat me up. I wasn't allowed to go to school because of the bruises, and when we had to go out it was jeans and a long sleeve shirt. I knew that even if I was the next time I would be in the hospital. I don't like talking about my insecurities and Anger is a way out for me." "Well...did you ever date him?" "Yeah, for a couple years but it just didn't work out. We both loved each other but he and I both knew with my dad around it wouldn't work out. I tried with...her and....I just couldn't do it. I couldn't make my self do it with her. Lets go before I fucking get mad again." Jon followed Austin out of the door. The whole way meeting Arin was silent. They passed by the parade of people when a tall guy came up to them. "Fucking faggots." Jon growled as Austin said "Don't make any harsh moves Jon." Jon grabbed the guys collar and said "Shut up before I make your balls retract into your fucking skull." Jon let go and kept walking burring his face into his jacket. Jon waved at Arin. "Let's go Jon, once this parade is over everyone is gonna hit up the diners." Arin said. "Why so silent Jon?" Dan said in a sincere tone. Jon said "I'm fine." Dan tapped Arin on the shoulder and whispered something. Jon barged into the Denny's and sat down. Dan, Austin and Arin all sat down after. Arin said to Dan "So, Dan you were saying about going to the J and C store to pick up a couple game eh?" Jon just made a noise of agreement as he drank his coffee. Everyone's food came. "Jon? I thought your ordered something man. Aren't you hungry?" Jon shook his head. Dan whispered something else into Arin's ear. Austin said "Jon, didn't you say you wanted to play Skyrim?" "Yeah..so?" "So when we go to the store we'll pick it up for you." Jon sighed."What's wrong Jon?" "Nothing." "Well it would be nothing if you weren't eating, or talking." Dan stated. Jon yelled "I'M FINE!" Everything went silent. Jon got out of his seat. "I'm out. Fuck this." Austin yelled "Wait! Jon! Where are you going?" Jon yelled back "HOME!" Jon walked out of the restaurant. Austin looked back at Dan and Arin. Both of the men shrugged their shoulders. Austin sighed as he walked back to the table.


	4. Chapter 4

"I don't know why he's acting like this. Arin? Has he ever been like this to you?" Arin shook his head, "No never! I don't know why he's like this." Jon slammed his door shut and he started crying. He felt like he was a fuck up like his dad told him. He loved his dad so much, he would always say he was the best son he ever had but he got flashbacks from that one time his dad beat him.

-flash back to 2005-

Jon was at after school detention with Charlie. "Are we going to be bad kids now Jon?" Charlie asked. "No, we aren't bad kids, just wrong place at the wrong time. Don't worry okay? I don't like it when you worry." Charlie nuzzled next to Jon as they waited for their parents to pick them up. Jon handed Charlie his phone. "Why don't you go play on my phone, I'm going to go to the bathroom." Jon got up to go to the bathroom. Charlie played angry birds as Jon went into the bathroom. He went into a stall and unzipped his pants. He heard someone walk in, okay nothing new but he had boots. Usually no kid wore boots, except teachers. Jon finished quickly and tried getting out of their quickly, but it was who he thought it was. "Mr. Azon...how are you?" Mr. Azon, or Carl Azon grabbed the shirt on Jon's shoulder's and slammed him into the wall. "You stay away from kids like Charlie. You fucking butt-fuckers are the reason we have problems. Stay away from him, or I will fucking kill you." Mr. Azon walked off. as Jon sighed. He dealt with Mr. Azon everyday. He would always call his slurs. Jon went back into the office with a much less cheery tone. "What's up Jon?" "Just Mr. Azon again." Charlie laughed and said "C'mere you big teddy bear." Charlie Grabbed Jon side hugging him. Charlie gave Jon a quick peck on the lips and said "I will love you, and if we do break up, I will never forget you." Jon held Charlie again as they went back to watching Netflix. 

"Austin, he will be fine. He's just going through some stuff." Austin yelled "BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE TOLD ME! HE TOLD HIS FUCKING DAD BEAT HIM FOR BEING GAY! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW HE FEELS!" Arin whispered "Jon's-" "Yes, Arin. He is." Arin, Dan and Austin went back to the house. Jon looked over at the three guys tripping over each other just to see if Jon was fine. Jon stood up. "I want you guys to go home, you guys need a break from my stupid bullshit." Austin said "But, I want to stay with you Jon." "I-I don't want to burden you. My problem shouldn't worry you." Austin sat next to Jon. "Jon, I will stay with you for however long you need me, I'm your friend. That's what friends do." Jon sighed and said "Okay..I just don't wanna make you feel you HAVE to do this." Austin hugged Jon. "It's going to be okay."


	5. Chapter 5

\- a couple days later-

Jon was walking to a panel with Austin. Jon was wearing a suit, he hates suits but he wore them to look nice. "Hey Austin? Do I look okay I don't wanna have my shirt look weird or-" "Jon, you look fine." Jon smiled and said "Thanks Austin." Something about Austin complimenting Jon made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. Jon walked on stage a did the panel. He came back an hour later to Austin. Jon was a bit sweaty, "Okay..Wanna go to the after party now?" Austin said back, "Yeah, as long as you watch your drinks Jon." "I will, I will." Austin and Jon drove a couple blocks over to the house. A bunch of people were there. Arin, Dan, Barry, Jesse, Doger, Jared, Jirard, and many others. Jon walked in with Jared and Jesse gave a warm welcome to both Austin and Jon before handing Jon a beer. "Austin do you drink?" Austin declined, "No I do Jesse but, I'm gonna be driving so." "Ah okay, just watch for Jon. He can be...a bit...brutally honest when he's drunk." Austin laughed, "Yeah, I've seen it before." Jon took a swig of his beer before sitting on the couch. "So, Austin I heard you wanted to help me get a date?" Austin said "Yeah, give me your phone and we can download grindr." Jon handed Austin his phone before saying "Don't send my dick." Jon got up and grabbed another beer. Jon came back with some harder alcohol. "Y'know, I might as well get fucking wasted." Jon drunk the bottle as fast as he could. Jon's eyes widened as he felt himself slip away. Jon grabbed another one. "Jon, chill out on the beers, you've had like 3 in the past 8 minutes." "I am fiine..Austin. Only a couple more and then I'm done." A few minutes passed of Jon swiping. "Jon, you have to pick at least one guy." Jon swiped right. He got some text from the guy.

Jon: Hello, I'm Jon.

Peter: hey sexy...I'm peter.

Jon: cool, wanna talk for a bit?

Peter:Sure

Jon: I'm into video games hby?

Peter: I'm into you baby. Can I get a picture?

Jon: ....of me?

Peter: Yeah, I wanna see your adorable smile.

Jon: *sends older photo*

Peter: Aww, so cute.

Jon: Yeah i was 25...I'm 29 now but.

Peter: *Sends photo.*

"God damn it Austin..I told youuuuu! He sent a d pickk." Jon was well over his drinking limit and was too Drunk to even talk right. "Alright Jon, lets get you home." "Whaaaat? No I'm am having fun!" "Jon, you fucking drunk, and acting like a idiot." "Yeah? Well jokesss on youuuU! I am an idiot." "Jon, fucking shut up for two seconds, lets go, to the car." "Okay DAD!!!" Austin whipped around, "Jon! Don't test me!" "I...fuckin' love you maaan! You are like the best friend a person could ever have, you helped me get through a tough time. Anddd you fuckkiin' care for me!" "Jon, I'm serious, get in the car. Now!" Jon hugged Austin and said "Can I kisss you? I reaaaaaaally wanna kiss you. You just...fuckin' hoottt man!" Austin's face turned bright red. "Jonathan Aryan Jafari! You stop this right now!" "But it's truuue!" "Jon Fucking stop! Or else." "Or else whaaat?!" Austin took Jon back into the house. "Decided to stay Austin?" "No Jesse, I have to get Jon sober." "Oh..." Austin pushed Jon into the bath. "I'll give you one more chance. Now are you going to go to the car?" "Only if you siit in my lap!" Austin's fists shook as he turned on the cold water. Jon yelled as he snapped out of his drunken daze. "What the fuck!" "Fucking asshole." "What the fuck did I do?" "You...You said some shit man." "Like? Jesus, I'm taking off my fucking shirt. Thanks to you!" "YOUR FUCKING WELCOME!" "I DIDN'T FUCKING ASK FOR THIS AUSTIN!" Jesse heard Austin and Jon fighting. "You guys okay?" Both of them said "SHUT UP JESSE!" Jon angrily yelled. "What the hell are you mad about?!?" "BECAUSE MY FUCKING CLOTHES ARE WET!" "MAYBE THAT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF-" There was a pause in Austin's words..He couldn't say what had happened. It was stupid to fight over it. "If what Austin!?!? Spit it out!" "THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU JUST SHUT UP AND NEVER ADMITTED TO HAVING FEELINGS FOR ME!" Jon stayed quiet. Austin yelled "WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING QUIET!" Jon tried talking but nothing came out. "WHAT!?" "Nothing, I want to go home." "No..I'm not taking you home! Not until you answer me!" "Then...Then I'll walk home." Jon walked out the door with Austin following him. "What!?!? Can fucking sat it?!? Too much of a pussy to say it?!?! Your gay Jon! Fucking say it! Your gay, admit the fact that you like to fuck a dude!" "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT WORD!" "What Jon!? Gay!? 'Cause that's what you fucking are!!!!" Jon turned around as his first were ready to fight, his eyes filled with tears, and frown upon his face. "I'M NOT FUCKING GAY! I AM A STRAIGHT GUY! I AM PERFECTLY FINE WITH FUCKING A GIRL! MY DAD FUCKING PUT ME IN THE CAMP TO BE STRAIGHT AD GOD DAMN IT AUSTIN I AM!" Jon walked home as Austin stood there. Dumbfounded he went over in his head what Jon had yelled. Camp? Camp?? Camp for what? Austin pulled out his phone and searched 'camp for straight guys.' What came up...scared...Austin. It was about..beating kids...for something they couldn't control. Embarrassing them and doing barbaric acts.


	6. Chapter 6

-Jon at age:15 about to turn 16-

"Hey..Jon before you leave give this to your dad. I'm sure he'll enjoy it. It's a camp for you kids. Charlie is going so I thought you might like it." Jon grabbed his backpack and took the paper. "Thanks? Mr. Azon?" Mr. Azon nodded as he walked off. Jon very briefly read over this pamphlet Mr. Azon gave to him. It was a bout children having fun there. Jon got off and walked home. He walked in the house calling his dad. "DAD!" His dad came out of his room and said "What the fuck do you want!" "Mr. Azon gave me this thing for camp, can I go? It's starting tomorrow! Please!" His dad smiled at what he read. Jon's mom walked over, she took a glance and said "Jon, room. Now." Jon went into his room confused as his parents were arguing. "You can't change his ways Jon!" "I won't stand for this he will go, Charlie's going, maybe for once he'll understand that this gay shit is wrong. I'll keep sending him until it gets through his thick skull!" "If he hates you forever and not me I'm telling you I told you so." Jon came out of his room. "Good news Jon, your going to the camp, pack your shit." Jon was so happy. He started packing most of his clothes. Jon sat on his bed. The rest of the night was...quiet. Until the morning. Jon's dad woke him up. "Hey, fuck face lets go." Jon hopped out of bed happily and grabbed a st of clothes before putting his bag into the car. "Bye mom!" Jon yelled. His mom was crying? before Jon left he said "What's wrong?" His moms said back in a tender voice "I want you to now Jon....I love you so much...and..I'm sorry." "Sorry? For what?" "JON! LETS GO!" "Sorry dad! Love you!" Jon jumped into the car. "Gah! I'm so excited! It's going to be awesome!" His dad was quiet. "Why so quiet dad?" "No reason, just...have...fun." They were driving for what felt like forever until Jon's dad pulled into the parking lot. It was definitely a camp, with cabins a lake and everything. Even a church...weird. "Here, tell him I'm Jonathan Jafari and don't say shit about me other than my name or else your out on the fucking streets." Jon nodded. He walked up to one of the counselors. "Hello, Parent's name kiddo?" "Jonathan, Jafari." "Oh! Jon! Your name?" "I'm Jon, we have the same name." "Yeah so I've heard. Well get in your cabin and meet at the church we have some stuff to go over." Jon walked over to one of the cabins as he put his stuff down. "JON!" "Charlie! Hey I missed you." Charlie kissed Jon as he sat next to him. "Maybe if we have no one in our cabin..." "Jon! Stop! I won't do that!" "C'mon nobody cares anyways." Another kid who looked older walked in. "16 and and 15? Jesus, they're getting younger now." Jon looked confused as he held Charlies hand. "Also, you really shouldn't do that. Don't act...like your a couple- in fact act the total opposite." Okay listen her you fucking asshole just because i'm-" "Gay? yeah no don't care, also stop cursing too, that will get you in trouble. Just act straight......wait...you guys-You guys don't know do you?" Jon and Charlie looked at each other confused. "Shit, your in a conversion camp." Jon was still oblivious. "What ever fuck off." The guys sighed. "Fine, be idiots but be careful." Charlie laughed and said "Probably spooky story stuff." "Yeah." Jon kissed Charlie one more time before saying "Okay, Well lets get to the church." Jon walked with Charlie as they entered the building. "Hello, children. Please sit down." Jon sat next to Charlie. "Now..Do you all know why you're here?" Everyone didn't say a word. "It is because you are gay...a..gay camp if you will. Now let all go out side because we need to move a couple bags of cement...and you will recite bible versus whilst doing it." Jon was a bit confused. Jon rushed outside and grabbed a couple bags, they were definitely heavy but he got them across. As did others. Finally it was all over, 8:00, it was getting dark and Jon thought it was over, how little he knew. "Okay, now you will run while saying I am god's child." Jon was getting tired of the god shit. Another hour passed. They were allowed to back to their cabin's. Jon sat on his bed as his kissed Charlie. Charlie was definitely in the mood. "Jon~ C'mon.." Suddenly a priest walked in on Jon undoing Charlie's pants. "Fuck.." Jon backed away from Charlie a bit. "Uh-s-sorry sir!" The priest pointed at Jon. "You! Come with me!" Jon said under his breath "Shit.." The priest called his parents and everyone else's. Everyone gathered into the room as Jon was pushed into the building. "FUCKING LET GO!" The pastor's let go of Jon. Jon walked forward like they ordered with parents and all the students in the room. Everyone was looking at him in disappointment. "D-Dad?" The priest yelled "THIS BOY WAS COMMITTING HOMOSEXUAL ACTS! WE NEED TO REPENT THE DEMON INSIDE OF THIS BOY! COME AND LINE UP TO SHOW THE DEMON OUT!" Jon was still confused. Jon was thrown onto the floor as he was hit with the bible. "Ow fucking stop-OW WHAT THE HELL-" Jon kept getting hit until Charlie came up to him. The priest said "Go on young man, he may have hurt you and touched you wrongly but you need to hit him with god's will!" "C-charlie? Baby please don't do this!" Charlie started crying as he was looking at Jon. "I-I have to Jon." "Please don't cry Charlie, if your going to hit me, hit me but don't cry. I-I still will love you Charlie." Charlie hit Jon repeatedly as the priest watched. Jon's father stared as Jon's mother was yelling and crying. This was only the start. Every year Jon's father would force him to do this camp. And every time Jon would get hit with the bible. The abuse would get worse, they started whipping him. And he wouldn't change until one day he finally gave up. His dad was gonna make him do another year. "You can't do this dad...it's-it's in human. Your going to send me there for another year?? Your not going to change me! You can't! It's....permanent." Jon cried. "I said your going, I don't care if they have to kill you to get that shit out of you, but I will not stand for such nonsense. The bible says so." "Fuck, the bible. I looked up to you, I wanted to be a perfect dad like you, guess not everyone is perfect. Not even my own dad." The taste of getting his dad back fed his anger, but he knew that would result in consequences. Just...pretend....pretend you are...pretend you are what he wanted. Pretend to have a wife....pretend you want kids, rather than having the life you actually wanted. Give....up...on your dreams....give up..completely. "I'm straight dad! IF YOU WANT ME TO BE STRAIGHT THEN FINE! I WILL BE!" "FINALLY JON! IT ONLY TOOK YOU 5 YEARS!" "I'M OUT DAD! I'M DONE! KISS MY ASS GOODBYE." Jon grabbed his stuff and slammed the door. "See what you did Jonathan! You made our precious boy walk out on us! This is what you get! I'm going to say goodbye to him." Jon's mom caught up with Jon. "JON! JON! WAIT!" Jon turned around to see his mom. "Hey mom....I-I'm sorry." "No-No honey..don't be sorry. Gay or not I still love you." Jon hugged his mom goodbye. "I won't forget you mom but...as for dad. I could care less about his ass." Jon walked onto the bus as he went to somewhere. Didn't know where but it would be somewhere.


	7. Chapter 7

It was well over midnight and Jon was still not home, Austin was starting to worry. Jon was wondering the streets...not wanting to go back to where he was. Jon said to himself "Why did I get fucking drunk.....why couldn't I keep a girlfriend. Why am I gay?" Jon started crying but he was angry...angry about the feeling but sad he couldn't accept himself. He had so many people yelling and supporting him. He didn't know which side to choose. Jon kept repeating over and over "I can't do it anymore." The more times he said it the angrier he got. Jon ran his fingers through his hair gripping his head in frustration. Tears we welting up in his eyes as memory's flooded back. It was him and his dad. 'I love you daddy!' "I love you too Jonny boy, let go inside and get some ice cream huh?' 'YOUR SUCH A FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT OF A SON!' 'FUCK YOU TOO I'M NOT GOING! I'M OUT! KISS MY FUCKING ASS DAD! I'M DONE WITH YOUR SHIT!' 'Dad! Look I got into the play!' 'Nice job kiddo,what role did you get?' 'I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD TREAT ME LIKE THIS! I NEED TO SEE HIM HE'S MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND!' 'GET USED TO IT YOU LITTLE SHIT!' 'REPENT CHILD AS YOU THE DEMON GROWS LARGER INSIDE YOU!' Jon couldn't handle his anger as he punched his hand into leg and cried. He kept hitting himself over and over and over in the head. "GET OUT OF ME!" Jon yelled as tears were flowing. Jon got and went home as these memory's haunted him again. Memory's of kids calling him a faggot, butt lover, fucking gay, making rude jokes about him, making gestures in the hallways. People always told him 'Fucking theater kids they're all fags if you ask me. especially Jon, that fucking dumbass is the leader of all of them. He's the biggest fucking Faggot ever.' Jon heard this everyday of his life. He sees Arin and Dan showing affection everywhere..holding hands, kissing, hugging each other. It made him furious, not that he was homophobic but the fact that he can't be like them. Jon approached the door to his apartment. He opened his door to see Austin watching the news. He tried avoiding Austin when Austin said "Jon! Oh my god I was afraid you were gonna-" "GET OFF! GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" Austin was so confused. Jon yelled while slamming his door. "DON"T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" Austin stepped away from Jon as he slammed his bedroom door. Austin waited a bit before coming in. "Jon?" "WHAT!" "W-where were you?" "I WAS OUT FUCKING SIDE." Jon stood up and looked at Austin, "IT WAS NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS ANYWAYS." Austin looked as Jon. Jon looked at him. "Are you really gay Jon?" "NO! I'M NOT!" "Then you were just kissing some rando in the picture?" Jon turned red. "I-I'M NOT GAY!" "Yes...you are..they-they changed you to something your not. Jon...those conversion camps don't convert you to being straight they scar you. You loved you dad and now you can't even say the word dad." Jon just got more upset, with himself. Why was he like this? Why did he want to cry when he heard the word. Austin said getting a bit closer to Jon "Why don't you just try?" "TRY WHAT AUSTIN?" Austin put his hand on Jon's face as he locked lips with him. Austin pulled Jon closer to him. Jon wanted to stop but at the same time he didn't...and it felt so..nice. Austin let go and said "Well? Are you?" Jon was silent. "I-I....y-yes...I don't know..It felt.." "Good...right?" "Y-Yeah...but my dad said that...I was wrong and I would-" "I'm not your dad though...I'm Austin.. Always have been, always will be." "Yeah..Yeah you will." "Well Jon...why don't we go on a date..tomorrow?" "Yeah...yeah sure! I would like that."


	8. Chapter 8

-6:00 PM-

Austin and Jon were just hanging out and finishing videos. Jon said enthusiastically "So..where do you want to go eat? Just as long as it's not McDonald's, I fucking hate that place." Austin laughed, "Yeah no, we're going to Freeman's. They have great food you'll love Jon..I went there with Shane and Jared before." Jon got up and said "Well what are we waiting for?" Austin sat up and put his laptop on the table as Jon and Austin walked out. Jon said to Austin while rushing down the stairs, "Ever thought about moving to California?" Austin replied following him, "Uh...I don't know, I'm used to the heat but I don't really know very many people other than Mark and the grumps." "Well, I was thinking moving back, where everybody else is rather than here." "Well! Then I think I might live in Cali." "Austin, trust me it will save you gas, and it has a bunch of new people to meet. Then again I lived there most of my life, so nothing new." "Yeah. I guess but, you right! New beginnings." Jon and Austin made their way down to the bottom and walked towards the restaurant. "Do you wear suits Austin?" Jon said as they were walking in. Jon sat down thinking about getting alcohol, he knew the consequence so he just got soda instead. Austin got a soda too. Jon stared at Austin, "Do you think I could pull off a suit?" Austin looked up at Jon, "Of cource you can! I mean I've never seen you in a suit, but I'm sure you can do it!" Jon smiled at Austin's compliment. The waiter came over and asked, "Hello! Are you two ready two order?" Jon replied "Uh..Sure!" While Jon was ordering Austin thought about Jon in a suit. He looked a bit a weird, but nonetheless he didn't look too bad in a suit. Finally Austin ordered, Jon thought about his fluffy hair, it was kinda cute. Austin reminded him of shaggy. Austin was cute in his own way, he just smiled a lot and that made Jon happy. "Why did you move to new york Jon? Of all places why here?" Jon didn't exactly know how to answer that question. "Well...hmm..I guess just because new york always had the persona of the place where everyone becomes successful. I wanted to be just like everyone else, rich, happy, and in love. I wanted to be the perfect person, the person who everybody aspires to be. it never came though, I'm definitely not rich, not exactly happy with everything, and I never found true love....except I did, but someone took it away from me. Now look where I am, new york. A fucking shit hole pouring my problems on my friend." Austin felt bad for Jon, he did have everything, an amazing boyfriend, great parents, and some good enough money, but he didn't know who that person Jon was talking about. Austin grabbed Jon's hand. "Jon, with every bad comes good. Something good will happen, I can promise you that." Jon smiled as Austin reassured him. "So? You still thinking about moving back to California?" "Yeah, it's not to isolate myself just, family, friends, everything really is there. If anything I kinda made my life a bit worse by moving here." Jon laughed. "I'll probably start packing tomorrow. So I can get a head start and then I'll start moving." "Jon, where will you go?" "Like I said, I can find a house tonight or tomorrow and the day after I'll get the truck after packing." "Okay, I guess your planning on living alone then? Like usual?" "What? Are you kidding me? Hell no, I'm sharing it with you and Barry, he's been trying to find a place as well." The food came, Jon was raised kind of like Austin, if you didn't scarf your food down people would take it, he did that for 18 years, and it kinda just stuck. As Jon was eating his food Austin said "Have you ever had fish?" "Hmm?" "Fish? Trout, salmon fresh water? Fish anything?" Jon wiped his mouth and said "Not often. It makes me feel sick, I usually uh..throw up..quite a bit." Both of them laughed it off as Jon pulled out his credit card. "I'll pay for it." "Aw c'mon Jon, you don't have to." "No-No I insist, tonight was...nice. I definitely loved it." Austin stood up and hugged Jon. "Your right tonight was pretty nice." Jon and Austin walked back to the apartment. Austin said while he got onto the bed, "God I'm tired." Jon laid next to Austin, "Yeah, I am too." Austin closed his eyes as he nuzzled in Jon's arms. Jon and Austin both fell asleep after their long day.


	9. Chapter 9

Jon woke up next to Austin, they were both laying on top of each other. Jon slowly pushed Austin off reaching for his computer. He grabbed it and went into the living room. As he placed his laptop on the table he went to gab a mug and get coffee. Jon went back and sat on the couch rubbing his eyes. He opened it and put in the search bar, '4 bedroom house in Glendale California.' Jon found a bunch of houses but they were a bit over priced. Finally he found a decent house. He went back into the bedroom. Austin wasn't there, "Austin?" Austin called from the bathroom, "What? I'm Taking a shower!" "Oh..Sorry!" Jon walked back out as he grabbed a bunch of boxes. He packed some stuff up, the small stuff, mugs, plates and silver ware. Still having room left i the box he packed everything else up except the food. He then went into his computer room and gather all his tech. Lastly he grabbed another box and packed up pictures. He stacked the boxes by the door as he called the uhaul to order a truck. Jon went back onto his computer and went onto Facebook. He found the seller of the house he called the number in hope they would pick up. "Jason strand industries how may I help you?" "Hey,I'm calling for the house in Glendale California, two story 4 bedroom?" "Ah, yes. What about it? Are you buying?" "Yes actually,I am any chance I can get the money to you?" "Yes we will talk online if we can go to the house and place the order on our website and you will get the email shortly." "So that would mean it is mine?" "Yes, we will send you the key right now if you do it-" "Done!" "Okay it will come tomorrow." "Thanks!" Jon hung up as he silently said "YES!" Austin got out of the shower, "What are you so happy about?" "Tomorrow I'm going to pack the rest of the stuff and we are going to the new house." Austin hugged Jon "Yay! What about Barry did you tell him?" "He already knows." Austin was beyond happy for Jon. Austin sat on the couch, "Well...what do you wanna do?" "God, I don't know..." Austin laughed at Jon's reaction. "What? I don't...watch a movie?" "What movie?" "Star-" "No starwars...I hate star wars and you know that." "Okay how about Moana?" "Okay...let me get something to eat while you set up." Austin went to the fridge to see if Jon had anything. "Jesus Jon do you ever cook?" "No...I don't have the time to. I'm always getting home late, and I've been started to put on weight again so I just skip meals or don't eat." Austin sighed, "Well, why don't we go out and get some stuff so I can make you actual food rather than that shit food your eating." Jon got up and grabbed his wallet. "Fine, but I'm very picky so don't be surprised if I don't like it." Austin just smiled as they walked out. Jon and Austin were walking around a bit finding a store just talking. "Y'know in Texas we don't really get too much a of a winter. How can you stand it?" "Uh I don't know...at first it was kinda weird seeing snow but then I just got used to it." Jon saw his ex walking by, hoping she didn't notice him. They were over by a alley and she came over. "Jon! Hey!" Jon was so pissed that she even talked to him but he decided to be nice. "Hey..Sophia." "So how are you? This your new....""Boyfriend yes, this is uh..Austin." Sophia said "You don't mind if I talk to Jon for a sec? Right?" "No Not at all." Jon sighed as they went into the alley way, "I told you not to come back Sophia! We are over!" "Why did you have to leave me with that prick though!?" "He's not a prick okay?! He's a nice guy! And I love him! I want to some day have a fucking family with him!" "Oh I'll show you a fucking family!" Sophia groped Jon. Jon winced as he felt the warm hand. "Stop! Stop it! Stop touching me please!" Sophia grinded on him as Jon couldn't do anything. He was taught not to hit women. "Why don't you just give it to me Jon?" she said seductively. "B-Because I can't-just-please stop." Suddenly she yanked down his pants. "Sophia Please stop. I-I really don't want to do this." Sophia got on her knees and and started to suck him. It felt so wrong for Jon. He hated it, of course he felt pleasure but it was terrible. Jon felt himself coming to a point, and he did....she stopped and walked away as he fixed himself. He felt so bad, like he was cheating on Austin. Jon walked back to Austin. "Lets go home." "Why Jon I thought you- "What did I just say Austin? I want, to go, home. Now." Austin and Jon wet back home without saying a word. Jon slammed his door and fell on to the bed as he yelled and cried. Austin came in to see Jon crying. "Jon?! What happened?!" Jon said, "i-I don't want to talk about it, i-it's embarrassing." "Jon, Please tell me what happened." "....it was her." "Sophia? What about her?" "...she started touching me again. I-I told her to stop and then...she..." "She what Jon? what did she do to you?" "She..gave me a blowjob...I hated it...Austin I'm sorry. I-I'm so sorry." "Jon..Jon look at me none of this is your fault, I still love you. Nothing will change that Jon." Jon cried into Austin's arm as he still felt guilty for not doing something about it. "I-I'm sorry Austin." "Jon..it's okay, I'm here for you."


	10. Chapter 10

Jon calmed down after a bit of time. It took a while but he was...okay for now. Jon came out of his room. "Austin..why don't you fly over to the new house, I'll meet you there tomorrow." "What? And leave you here why would-" "Please...I just need a bit of time alone." "Are you sure Jon? I don't want you to get hurt." "Yes. Please, I won't get hurt." Austin sighed as he thought about it. "Fine...but I'm only doing this for you." Jon hugged Austin. "Thank you so much Austin." "Alright, just give me a kiss before I go. It's going to be a bit of a drive for you." Jon gave Austin a quick kiss before he left. Jon sighed. Finally he had sometime alone. Jon sat at the door. He knew what he was feeling. He had it as a kid, Depression. Again. This wasn't the first time...or the last. Jon got up and grabbed a knife. Jon sat at the same spot as he rolled up his sleeve. He had a small tattoo on his arm, he his this from his parents but it said I love you, and I accept you. Jon blinked away the tears as he said, "I'm sorry Austin." He dug the knife into his skin as he felt the addicting pain. He knew what was to come....possibly the loss of his relationship, even more depression and anxiety but got cutting felt so good. Jon let out a satisfied sigh as the blood dripped on his jeans. He knew what Austin would say, he would put his down. He would have to go back into hiding, he would have no one. He would never have anyone ever again. He would fall back into loneliness, into the dark abyss. Maybe being dead wasn't so bad after all? Jon looked at his arm before slicing it again. It felt so great but at the same time so bad. He knew...he would be gone. His work for 10 years gone, his friends gone, Austin...gone. He would have to put on a fake smile again. pretending it was okay when it wasn't all because he hated himself. He was gay, a faggot, he had depression. Doing it for attention, maybe he was. He was a stupid person saying stupid shit. And most importantly he was a jerk. Jon saw that he was bleeding more than usual. Jon just brushed it off as he wiped the blood off. Jon sighed as he drifted off. He woke up. "W-Where am I?" He was in an ambulance...it wasn't long until he was asleep again. He woke up again this time in a hospitable bed. "Mr. Jafari You were quite lucky. Your neighbor walked in on you being passed out. He saw your bloody-" "Shut it. I get it I almost died now get me out of this shit." "Mr. Jafari, please we are just trying to help. We need you to calm down. You are not eligible to go home yet." "Fuck." Jon sighed, "What do I need to do to get out of this shit hole then? I have to go somewhere tomorrow." "We'll run some tests tonight and whenever they are done, you can leave." Jon smiled and said "Okay then." Jon grabbed his phone from a near by table. He was contemplating calling Austin. Maybe it was for the better to call him? He can't it would ruin their relationship. God so many problem and all Jon could do is sit there and do nothing about it. Jon said to himself, "Fuck...I'm going to regret this." Jon grabbed his razor blade and made one deep cut again. The pain gave Jon a relief, making his problems go away....but they never go away. Jon quickly wiped the blood off as a nurse came in the room. "Shit, shit. Uh-h-hello." "Hey Jon." "A-Arin...heyyy." "Don't 'hey' me! Why do you have a razor?" "Uh no reason..." ""I suppose that lack of reasoning is why your in the hospital as well?" Jon stayed silent. "You've been cutting yourself again haven't you?" Jon still was silent. "HAVEN'T YOU JON?!" Arin yelled. "YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DID JON?! THAT MADE CHARLIE HATE YOU! YOU WANT THAT WITH AUSTIN-" "SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP ARIN! CHARLIE DIDN'T HATE ME! HE LOVED ME!" "IF HE LOVED YOU WHY DID HE LEAVE YOU??!!?" Jon started silently crying as he just wish his depression would go away. It never did, it was always in the back of his mind. "Jon all this? Is bullshit, you are probably one of the most like people! You have millions of people who would pay hundreds to fucking hug you." Jon just felt even worse, like maybe he was doing it for attention, maybe Arin was right...maybe he was just being a big baby. "I'm sorry Arin, this is all m fault...all my fault...I caused this to happen, I'm sorry." Jon kept repeating 'I'm sorry' as he cried. Arin sighed and said "Lets fucking go.."Jon was confused. "W-Where are we going?" "Home! We're going home, your packing your shit and going to the airport! I will do everything else!" Jon got out of bed and got his clothes on. Jon followed Arin to the car. The whole ride was silent...Jon didn't want to talk, he just felt so bad...for making his life a living hell and for making Arin's life a living hell. They got back to Jon's apartment and Jon quickly got some clothes his stuff and his laptop. Arin dropped him off at the airport as he got on the plane to Austin.


	11. Chapter 11

"What do you mean he was in the hospital Arin!?!?" "Listen, Austin calm down okay? Jon will tell you everything." "He better! Arin-I should have never left him alone." Jon came walking up with his bags in his hand. "What the hell Jon!?!?" Jon winced as Austin yelled at him. "You were in the fucking hospital? And you were cutting yourself?! This is why I don't leave you alone-" Austin rambled on as Jon said, "I-I'm sorry..I never meant to hurt you Austin." Jon tried his best not to cry...but yet the tears started. Arin yelled, "Jesus you as responsible as a 3 year old!" Jon flinched back as Austin realized what he was doing. "I'm sorry Austin...maybe...maybe dad was right...I should has been dead from the start." Austin quickly hugged Jon."Listen...I'm sorry Jon just...don't scare me like that again! Please?" Jon embraced Austin back. "I-I'm sorry Austin." Jon choked out. "Jon...I-Don't be sorry, I should be sorry for yelling out you." Jon said, "C-Can we go home now?" "Yeah, Yeah c'mon Jon let's go." Jon sat in the passenger seat, quiet as a mouse. It was getting dark as they drove home. Jon got out of the car and rushed into the house. Jon went inside as grabbed a book from one of the boxes. "Where are you going Jon?" Austin said while Jon was walking out of the house, "To the store..." "Jon, it's kinda late to be-" "I'm just going to the store d-don't follow me either..." This kept Austin's suspicion up. Jon rushed off into the streets, he wondered off a bit into the streets. Then he pulled out his knife. Jon was going to end it all, no more pain, and no more suffering from the constant fear of failure. One problem, Jon...couldn't do it. He started to cry in anger yelling to himself, "J-Just do it Jon! It-It will be over soon!Just fucking do it!" Jon started to cry harder as he couldn't kill himself, it was so hard. Jon looked around, no one was going to find him, it was now or never. He may have been out there for a hour, maybe more. Jon finally had the courage to do it, he put the knife to his neck, ready to die, "JON!" Austin ran over to Jon, Jon looked at Austin. He was feeling so many things. "W-What are-what the hell are you doing?!?" Jon said in a low voice, "Trying to kill myself..." Austin just hugged Jon, thankful he didn't do it, "Why....D-Did I do something? I-I don't under stand?!" The knife fell out of his hands as he started to cry in his hands. "I-I can't do this anymore Austin...I just can't Jon said while looking up at him. His eyes were red from previous crying and he was ready to just be gone. "I keep having flash backs I don't want, I keep making you mad and you yell at me and I feel like one day your going to leave me. I'm a stupid fuck up, and i should have died a long time ago...why not just end it now?" "Jon, you are the nice guy I-" NO I'M FUCKING NOT! I'M JUST SOME DICK HEAD WHO YOU LIKE! A-AND....A-And.....I don't fucking know why you like me! All I have done is brought on problems!" Austin looked at Jon, "Jon...I want you to look at me..." Jon looked over at Austin. "You are not a dick head, yes you have problems but that's not your fault. I want you to calm down, I'm not mad, and I still love you. You are not a bad person. You are the nicest, sweetest guy I know. I love you so much. I would never, ever want you to feel like I hate you. Yeah you made some bad decision, but we all do...your just, misunderstood, mistreated...you have trauma from your past I get it...but...dont think for a minute that you aren't loved. I'm here...Jon...I'm here for you." Austin held Jon's hand as he leaned in closer. Austin and Jon both faced each other as they sat on the side walk, "Jon, to me you are fucking perfect, I would never want to trade you for someone else." Austin held Jon's hand tighter as he started to kiss Jon, he wrapped his arms around Jon's sides as he continued to kiss him. The kiss felt like and eternity but, it felt so right...Jon felt so guilty once again...for his stupidity. Austin stopped and Jon fell into Austins arms, just hugging him. He just wanted to be hugged, to be told your okay, to say it's going to get better. Jon cried into Austin's arms, "I'm so sorry Austin...I'm sorry.." Austin rubbed Jon's back as he said, "It's okay Jon, I'm here for you. I will always be here for you..."


	12. Chapter 12

Jon and Austin were in bed, it took a bit of time for Jon to fall asleep after everything. Jon woke up in the middle of the night, his eyes twitched as he heard the light sounds of the rain. His body felt warms as Austin was under his arms. He slowly opened his eyes as he looked at the window, the rain fell with a thunder in the back. Jon broke away from Austin. Austin made a slight groan but was still fast asleep. Jon got out of bed in his black shorts to go to the bathroom. As he trailed back out to the kitchen. He grabbed the milk and started drinking, he looked back out side in the window. Just thinking, clearing his mind. Trying to forget the thing he never want to remember...

"Dad! Don't Do this! Please! I don't want to do another year!" 

"YOU WILL DO AND LIKE IT GOD DAMN IT! MAYBE IT WILL TEACH YOU A LESSON!" 

Jon rubbed his eyes as he broke away from the stare, he turned on the TV lowering the volume a bit. He turned on the news, The man said, "Yes, Tom jays with the news...." He recited the daily stuff. Jon sat and watched as he looked through the window again. He was having another episode. The pills were right there, but he didn't want to take them, he didn't want to rely on some prescription to tell him he was okay. He wanted to fight it, by himself. Jon's head started to twitch a bit, remembering getting hit..

"FUCKNG DISAPPOINTMENTS NEED DISCIPLINE!"

Remembering the camp he went to...

"Back again I see....still have yet to Change Jon?" 

remembering Charlie

"You won't be seeing him anymore...you two are over. If I see you two together at all, your both in deep trouble."

The abandonment, the loneliness, the hated.

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH!" "HATE AWAY JON! I'M NOT CHANGING! GO TO YOUR ROOM BEFORE YOU REGRET SPEAKING." 

The pure fear.

"Dad! Dad please! D-Don't do this!" "I need to teach you a lesson kid.."

The questions

"Hey! Cool black eye man! how'd you get it?" "Yeah! You get in a fight?" 

Hiding his secrets..

"Hey Jon wanna get a drink?" "Nah...I-I got a date tonight man.." "What your suck a fucking dick or something..." "N-No...no man." "Fuckin' gay lord."

The persuasion.

"Dude, your not gay right?" "Uh....no...I-I'm not.."

hiding his true self

"C'mon Jon....just shut up and fuck me!" "I-I can't!" "Why not?!" "I-I just can't...p-please don't yell..." "Something fucking wrong? can't get it up??" "N-No I-I don't want to talk about it!" "Your wasting my fucking time, I'm out of here..." "Sophia...c'mon d-don't over react..." 

trying to be what they want him to be

"So Jon...fucking player huh?" "What-What do you mean?" "You get laid a bunch with her don't you?" "Y-Yeah are you kidding? F-fucks me all the time..." 

Jon was trying his best not to cry, but it was over finally...the flashbacks stopped. The tears started as he wiped them away....he crawled back into bed, draping his arm around Austin again. Pulling him closer, tightly into his chest. Austin rolled over as hugged Jon, Austin..so warm body...against Jon's chest felt...calming. Jon sighed as he attempted to fall asleep again.


	13. Chapter 13

Jon woke up to Austin calling him. He had a rough night. "Jon! Wake up!" Jon groaned, "What time is it?" "It's 12, now get up, we have to go." Jon reluctantly got up. He grabbed a shirt before putting on his shoes. "Where are we going?" "To the office remember? Shane and Jared are meeting us there?" "Right..uh-y-you just go I'll stay home." "Are you sure you going to be okay?" "I-ll be fine." Austin sighed as he went. Jon sighed, he was going to come home in an hour. Jon tried to occupy himself with things so he wouldn't think too much. For a good 45 minutes he played video games and then he took a break. Until...he started having and episode. Jon laid on the couch trying to think of something else, ANYTHING else, but he couldn't. Jon started to shake as and he paced back and forth trying to thing about his favorite game or even, Austin. The flashes of memories that scarred Jon were racing through his head. He felt so guilty but, it felt so good. Jon walked into the kitchen, he opened a drawer and took out a knife. He was relapsing, going back to where he was before. His knife was touching his skin, about to slice a gash in himself. "Jon! No! Don't do this!" Austin ran over to Jon dropping his back pack. He slowly looked at Jon. "I-I need this Austin...I-It makes me feel better." "Look at me Jon..put the knife down, your only hurting yourself." Jon has a face full of tears as he tried to keep it together, even though it was not working. Austin grabbed Jon's hand, sliding the knife out of it. "Look at me Jon." Jon looked into Austin eyes. "M-Make it stop Austin please...Make the voices stop..." he whined. Jon sat on the floor in a ball, Austin sat next to him. "It's going to be okay Jon, It's okay." Austin held Jon's head to his chest and he calmed Jon down. "I-I'm sorry Austin, I-I'm so sorry but, I see these thing inside my head that I can't forget and I-I want to forget them so bad but I just can't. I-I want to forget Austin..Please..." "It's going to be over soon okay? Your going t be okay. I'm here Jon, I'm right here..." he cooed. Austin held Jon's hand rubbing it slightly as they stayed there for almost an hour. It took a long time for Jon to calm down but he was okay. "Did it stop Jon?" "I-I'm sorry Austin, I-It stopped but im so sorry..." "Don't be sorry Jon, whatever you going through we are going through together. Okay?" Austin stayed the whole day home making sure he was okay. Jon over heard something that Austin was talking about. "9? Okay yeah we can be there..." Jon peaked in listening. "Listen, just, can't you help him in some way? Please? It's getting worse. I don't know how to stop him at this point...I-I'm trying my best but I'm scared for him." Austin agreed and said lastly. "Okay, I'm not asking you to fucking cure him, I'm just saying help his episodes, they are violent and he starts crying." Jon looked at Austin. Austin realized. "J-Jon! I-It's not what it looks like!" Jon huffed, "What is it then Austin?!" "S-Sorry I'll call you back. Listen I was on the phone with someone who can help you.." "Help me? What do you mean like I'm a fucking mental ill person?" "Jon, i didn't say that I just don't want to see you upset like that." "Y-You don't want to help me...You want to get rid of this so you can do other shit." "Jon, don't over think this, I know how you get." "You don't know shit about me!" "Jon, I just want you to get better..." "I'm fine!" Austin was loosing his sanity at this point. "I'm Done! Y-Your right! I can't take it anymore! There is something wrong with you Jon! Really wrong! I'm tired of telling you it's okay when it's not okay! You need help! Your fucking loosing it when I'm gone, cutting yourself, trying to commit suicide! I'm trying to help you and you don't want to help yourself! You never want to do anything to help yourself!" Jon yelled, "WELL MAYBE BECAUSE LAST TIME I TRIED TO DO SOMETHING FUN IT ENDED UP IN MY FACE AND NOW I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THOSE MEMORIES!" Jon left slamming the door. "Where the hell are you going!?" "Somewhere!" "Yeah fucking right, go run off like you always do! ASSHOLE!"


	14. Chapter 14

Jon kept walking, he walked for hours. It was past 6, he was hungry but he knew if he went back home he would get yelled at. He ignored everything he was feeling and kept walking. He walked further from home. He didn't even know where he was. Jon was contemplating on going to a hotel for the night, just so he can avoid Austin. Jon rubbed his eyes as he sat on the curb. He had to go home, he had no choice. He started to walk back home. It was getting close to 8 now, he was almost home. He walked through the door, Austin wasn't mad, but concerned. "A-Are you okay? Where did you go?" Jon started at him, replying in a low growl "Fuck off Austin." "C'mon are you still mad at me?" "I said fuck off!" Jon sat on the couch not talking at all. "Well, let me make you something to eat, you haven't had anything-" "Don't, I'm not hungry." That was a lie. "Aren't you cold?" "I'm fine Austin! Just leave me alone." Austin replied, "Fine, goodnight Jon." Austin turned off the lights as Jon sat there quiet. He felt what was coming. He started to cry as he felt like an ass. Jon said to himself in anger, "S-Stop being a FUCKING baby man up Jon." Jon stood up and went to the fridge grabbing a beer. "Just drink, it make you feel better anyways." Jon drank almost the entire case. He was so tried, and drunk but he wanted to stay up all night. He went out to the store and got another case. The lady looked at him. "What?" He said in a moody voice. He grabbed the case walking home and he sat on the couch drinking again. Austin always woke up at 6 in the morning. It was 5:30 and Jon opened another beer bottle. He was on his 3rd from the case when Austin woke up. He walked out to see Jon drinking. He smelled of strong alcohol. "J-Jesus Jon, you've been drinking?" "Yeah, can't you fucking see?" "H-Have you been drinking all night Jon?" "Ta da! You got the fucking answer...Maybe my dad was right, I shouldn't be a fucking faggot, I should be the macho man that he want's me to be." "Jon, your not a faggot, we've been through this before." "Yeah well, being a cry baby isn't helping is it Austin? No, it's not. Your right , I need help. Is that what you wanted? For you to be right?" Jon sighed before saying, "I might as well fuck some girl on the street, maybe that will cure me." "Jon, don't do this. Your only hurting yourself...please just sit down." "Give me one reason I shouldn't get fucking STD's and drink myself to death, please because maybe then my dad would love me right? I-I'm tired of life's problems, I've fucked up my life too much." "Because, I care about you, not just as a friend okay? I-I care about you as your...your boyfriend." Jon sighed as he sat back down on the couch. "My ptsd has brought nothing but problems for you....why do you want to be with me so badly?" "You..." Austin took a deep breath trying to think of his words. "You are such a nice, happy guy and I don't want you to waste that. You drink so much and get so drunk just so you can hide pain. I-I want to fix that...I want to help you heal from what happened. I've seen you at your worst, I love you so much and then when you leave and go god knows where in the night I feel terrible because I know what ever your dealing with is serious. Y-You repress your feeling for so long, and you try to be strong but I know your hurting...I want to help, just please, I-I want to make you feel safe with me.." Jon felt his face go warm. "Just...Everyone I love shuts me down..a-and I have no one to turn to..I say sorry but I never fix it. And then I feel worse because I know that I'm just some dumbass." Austin hugged Jon, "I love you so much Jon, Never think other wise...I will always love you." "I-I just...i want to be good but I'm not Austin. I know I'm a difficult guy to have..."


	15. Chapter 15

"Your sure Austin?" "Jon, it's going to be fine..." An hour passed after Jon went in. Jon came out with a prescription bottle, "He told me this will help..." Austin hugged Jon, "I'm glad your going to be okay now.." Jon smiled, it wasn't often that he did smile but he was glad that he was getting better slowly. Jon sighed with relief as he didn't have to deal with bad things again. Austin said sincerely, "Why don't we go to Shane's party, Satch and Jared are going to be there. No strangers, just us guys." Jon smiled, "Y-Yeah, i-i like that." Austin checked the time, "Oh jeez, almost 8, we better get there quick." Jon and Austin drove there, walking through the door. "Jon! Austin! Glad you two came!" Jared gave Austin and Jon a hug before saying, "Come in, it's just us." Jon sat near Shane and Satchel. "Hey fuck-face." Shane said. Jon laughed, "Sup dick wad." "What's been with you lately..." "N-Nothing much. S-Satchel?" "Oh yeah I'm fine, we were just talking." Jon laughed. "I'm going to get a drink.." Jon said, Shane advised, "Listen, don't drink too much." Jon nodded. He saw that Austin too had a drink in his hand. He thought nothing of it and sat back down. "So? Jon," "Yeah?" "What's with you and Austin?" "W-What do you mean?" "You know what I mean..you guys a thing yet?" "I-W-Well not.....What do you mean a thing?" "Are you guys fuck buddies?" Jon despised words like those. Jon slightly yelled, "We aren't fuck buddies Shane!" Shane put his hands in defense. "Alright, jeez." "Yes, to answer you question, we are in a relationship, but we are not fuck buddies." Austin grabbed another drink when Jon overheard them. "Are you sure you want another beer Austin?" Austin replied with a slur. "But, you know you have to drive Jon home right?" "Yeah, yeah, just hand me another beer Jared." "Austin, your drunk..." "I don't care! Hand me another one." Austin gulped down another one. Jon laughed as he was going to get a third beer. "Jon.." "Yeah?" "No more drinks for tonight, okay? For you own safety." Jon nodded with a smiled. He kept walking to get a coke instead as Austin said, "Hey.." "What?" Jon asked. "C-Come with me..." He slurred. He followed Austin into the bathroom. "C'mon Jon, lets, do it, y'know?" "N-No, I don't. What?" "C'mon, you know what I mean. You are so handsome..." Austin grabbed his shirt. Jon laughed, he knew Austin wasn't serious. "C'mon...do it!" "Do what?" "Whip it out!" "What the fuck are you talking about?" "Fuck me.." Austin kept touching Jon. "No, c'mon stop Austin." He laughed. "Alright, stop seriously.." he kept laughing. Austin groped Jon. Jon's facial expression immediately changed. Jon jerked back and yelled, "NO! STOP IT! I SAID STOP!" Austin looked up at him, "Your a real pussy Jon." Jon sighed, "I-I didn't mean to yell, I'm sorry just..don't do that to me." "You never want to do anything with me!" "Austin, you and I both now that not true." Austin stormed out. "Why am I even with you!" he yelled. Everyone's attention. Jon rushed out. "Austin! Austin, please!" Jon stopped as everyone stared. "What? Fuck off, all of you..." He snarled. He ran after Austin. "C'mon, no, don't be like that to me Austin." "Why? I want you to love me!" "I do, I really do Austin!" "Well you won't have sex with me!" "Austin, you know why that is!" "No, Jon, tell me!" "Sophia? Charlie?" "So what?" Jon ran his finger through his hair..."What do you want me to do? Leave you out here?" "What I want you to do, is fuck me!" "That's not happening, I'm not doing it.." "I'm going home then." "How?" "Driving!" "Your drunk Austin!" "I don't care." "No, No please don't!" Austin got into the car and sped off. Jon couldn't believe he was doing that. Jon walked back inside. "What the hell happened?" Jared asked. "H-He drove off, I-God I hope he's not mad.." He muttered. "Why would he be mad?" Shane asked. "I-It's nothing." "Then why did he drive off?" "I-He...he just grabbed me and I freaked out...okay? I'm sorry." "He's going to be fine." "O-Okay..Damn it..."


	16. Chapter 16

Jon's phone rang. Shane and Jared decided it was okay for Jon to stay at their place for the night. It was abut 2, very late. Shane was awake, Shane looked over at Jon. "Aren't you going to answer it?" "It's a number I don't know." "Just fucking answer it." "Hello?" "Is this Jonathan Jafari?" "Yeah why?" Jon asked with a puzzled look on his face. "Are you Austin Hargrave's significant other or family?" "Yeah?" "Well....there has been an accident, it is standard protocol to make sure a-" "What?! I-I'm on my way right now!" Shane looked at Jon. Jon hung up, shoving on his coat. "What happened?" Jon said with tear in his eyes, "Austin got in an accident.." Shane gt up grabbing is keys. "Go, go now.." Shane and Jon piled into the car as Shane bolted down the streets. "Th-This is all my fault Shane.." "Jon, this is not you fault, it happens." "I-I know but..." Shane pulled into the hospital as they raced in. Jon ran up the stairs. Jon saw Austin in a room, he rushed in. He looked at the doctor in fear. "W-What happened?" "He swerved and...he hit a tree. The impact shoved his head into the wheel. He's in a coma.." "W-When will he wake up?" "We don't know.." Jon sat next to Austin as Shane sat outside. "W-Why is it always me? Why do I have to get punished?" He said to himself. Shane came in, "You okay?" "h-He's..." "It's going to get better....." "N-No it's not Shane it always gets worse..." Shane sat next to Jon. Jon felt the tears run down his warm face. "I-I love him so much...a-and now..." "It's okay, he will get better." One minutes he was laughing and hugging his best friend next he like this, a motionless, sleeping body.

sleeping....Jon liked to use the term as if he was going to wake up.

it had been 4-5 days. The doctors were sure he would wake up, but they were loosing hope. Jon, was loosing hope. Jared came over, "Hey Jon." "Hey Jared..." "I heard you aren't doing too well." Jon nodded. "He's...gone.." "No he's not! Jared! H-He's going to wake up....I-I know it." "Have you eaten? Or showered?" "I-I have to be here when he waked up.." "Jon, you need to eat..." "I-I can't Jared," "You need sleep. Come home..." "B-But...h-he needs me..." "And you need to eat. Jon please." Jon reluctantly got up. He got in the car, trying to hold back the tears. Jon just wanted Austin back. He needed Austin. Jared drove to their house. Jon got a well deserved shower as Jared made him something. He scarfed down his food, hungrier than he thought. He thanked Jared before sitting on the couch. "Jon, why don't you go sleep in my bed, get some rest for once. Please?" Jon nodded as he walked into Jared's room. He laid on the bed, he started to cry. He just wanted Austin. He missed him..He cried even harder..crying himself to sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

Jon had spent most of his time dong nothing. He just sat on the couch. He didn't speak any words. He didn't respond. He was nothing. Jared tried talking to Jon, he resorted to yelling at times. Jon just sat there, his hand on his face, not a care in the world. He was gone...he didn't want to do anything. "Jon!" No answer. "Jon, please...just talk to me." For once in weeks he spoke, "You want me to tell a sob story? I lost Austin, he's been in a coma for almost a week. You were right, I was mourning on something that was gone...and it was all my fault. All because.....A-All because I couldn't...do anything with him." Jon sighed. "Jared, you were so right, he's gone...and he took me with him. I am nothing without him..Everyone I love is gone. Everyone I care for, is gone." "Jon, Austin wouldn't want you to think this way. He wanted you happy." "How can I be happy? I was never happy...there were so many problems with me, no one cares. Then when I do something, people suddenly care. I'm gay, I'm fat, I'm stupid. I'm short, i'm annoying, I have depression, anger issues, PTSD, why did I ever think he, or anyone would truly love me. I'm so weak, I can't kill myself. Instead I feel bad for myself, and I shut everyone and I forget my problems, but they are always there. They never go away. I hoped one day, I would be the person everyone loves, instead I've become the person everyone despises. You were right, I should've forgot about Austin. I wanted him so badly, I wanted him to love me, and he did. Until I fucked it up, and I yelled and he got in an accident because of me." "Jon...You can't think that way..." "Jared, I'm going to the hospital, and I'm going to see Austin, for the last time." "Jon, no!" "I don't care." Jon walked out going to the hospital. He entered into the hospital going into his room. He sat next to Austin. He just watched. He looked at Austin, he just wished that he was there, one more time..just to tell him it was going to be okay. Just to hug him. He said his last words, "I-I miss you Austin..." As if he was going to hear, trying to convince himself that he was still there. "God Austin it's been terrible. I-I need you so much. You don't know how much I need you..p-please....c-come back....please....I can't live without you...." He walked out before a nurse came running in. Jon turned around. The nurse gave him a smile. Jon was going to leave before a doctor came after him. "I-Jon...I know it has been hard. B-But...h-he...he's up." "What do you mean? He's in a coma." "I don't believe in this but....this...this was a miracle...." "S-So he's.." "Just..you need to see him." Jon ran up the stairs. Going as fast as he could. He peaked into his room. He was awake...how? Jon walked in, tears in his eyes. "Jon?" Jon just stood there, quiet. Jon walked closer as he fell into Austin's arms, crying hysterically. "Jon..I-I'm so sorry..." Jon looked up at Austin, still crying. "D-Don't be, Austin, Don't be sorry. I'm sorry I'm so sorry. God I'm so sorry." Austin looked at Jon as they both cried, Jon hugged Austin. "I-I'm so glad your alive, Austin....." Austin looked at Jon, he kissed him. He just wanted to show that he loved him so much. He just wanted to tell him that he was there. Jon didn't want to let go, he wanted to just be there with him forever. "I love you so much Austin...never forget that ever."


	18. Chapter 18

Austin was going to be let out of the hospital this afternoon. Jon was by his side since yesterday. Austin insisted that he get some rest but Jon denied his requests. Jon got his keys as the doctor let him get his clothes on. Jon out Austin's arm around his shoulder. He helped Austin walk. Jon sat in the car as Austin said, "You should have gotten rest." "I'm fine Austin really." "Jon, please..when we get home get some rest." "But Austin-" "Jon, I insist. please?" Jon sighed. "Your lucky I love you..." Austin held Jon's hand as they went home. Jon walked through the door as he felt so much better with Austin by his side. It hurts so much when he isn't there. Austin walked with Jon to the bedroom. Jon laid on the bed as he sighed. Jon laid on Austin's chest as he looked at him. "Sometimes I wonder why i was put on this earth, and then I'm reminded that you helped me. I'm so glad you're okay Austin. I really don't know what I would do without you." Austin stroked Jon's head, "I'm glad that I lived to see you. You're a sensitive guy, and to me that's the best thing. A lot of men think that being a dick and not showing anything except their ego is a good thing, but you, you Jon are different. You care. You care a lot, not many people care like you." Jon laughed, "Y-Yeah, it's one of my biggest down falls." Austin sighed. "Don't beat yourself up about that Jon. You are a fine boy." Jon nodded. He sat up as he rubbed his eyes. "I-I think i have some work to do, I better get that done before-" "No Jon, you are going to get some rest." "But I-" "Jon." Jon sighed. Austin looked at Jon as he kissed him. he put his hand to Jon's cheek as he continued to kiss him. Jon whined as he stopped. "Okay Austin, okay..I love you too." Austin laughed as he held Jon's hand. "C'mon, go to bed for a bit and when you wake up I'll have a surprise for you." "What is it?" 'Well if I told you it wouldn't be a surprise would it?" Jon smirked as he laid down covering himself into the warm sheets. He drifted off into a sleepy abyss. 

Jon woke up as he groaned. "What?" he muttered. "Jacques! C'mon buddy. Don't screech." Jon got up as he rubbed his head. He slowly walked out as he saw Shane carrying Jacques. "Oh! Jon!" Austin cleared his throat. "Well we are going on a trip! Shane's looking after Jacques." "W-What? Where are we going?" "We are going to the Bahamas!" Jon's eyes widened, "H-How I-I haven't been making that much money, and how would we-" "Jon, don't worry, Shane and Jared helped us, just I want you to get away from this all. I just-I want you to calm down. Relax a bit." Jon sighed as he hugged Austin. He kissed him saying softly, "You didn't have to do this for me..." Austin kissed his cheek, "But I wanted to, so I did." Jon laughed, "Well When are we leaving?" "In a couple hours." Jon nodded. "How many?" "3." "Why are we leaving so late?" "So you can sleep. First class seats so don't worry, you have a damn bed. I know you have to sleep on your chest." Jon laughed as he went back into the room. "You stuff is packed, just go take a long shower okay? I want you to be comfortable. No drinking on the plane. I know you don't like flights, but I want you to be relaxed." Jon kissed Austin again as he grabbed some sweatpants and a T shirt. He went into the bathroom. He turned on the water. He just melted when he had the thought of a warm shower. All the stress was gone when he took a shower. Nothing to worry about. Nothing at all." Jon stepped in as he closed his eyes. Relaxing every muscle in his body, letting the warm water take over as he thought about nice things. He sighed with contentment as it felt nice to have this time to himself. He hadn't had time to have a comfortable shower. Of course he took quick showers but nothing as nice as this. He washed out all the problems that he had, enjoying the warmth. He groaned as he knew he had to get out sometime, it could have been an hour, but it felt like only seconds. He got out as he put on the clothes and combed out his hair. He stuffed his laptop and other thing into his backpack. He looked at the stuffed bird toy Austin gave to him. It was his, it had his scent in it. When Austin wasn't there and Jon wasn't feeling happy he would lay in be with the toy pressed against him as he sniffed it. He always slept with it, when Austin was in the hospital, he had it with him all the time. He couldn't let go of it. He grabbed the toy as he held it in his hand. "An hour and a half much?" Austin teased. Jon got red as he laughed it off, "I-I haven't had a good shower in a while." Austin smiled, "Well, glad your comfortable." Jon smiled as he waved to Shane. Austin drove even though Jon was very weary. Jon walked hand in hand with Austin. "How long is the flight?" "12 hours." Jon looked as if he had seen a ghost. "Don't worry, baby, your going to be fine, don't worry. "I'll sleep in the same bed if it makes you feel better." Jon nodded as he hugged the stuffed bird toy. Austin rubbed his back. "It's going to be alright Jon." Jon nodded as he continued to hug the bird. 'Lets get you something to eat before we go." Jon nodded as he sat down at a table. Jon looked at the menu. Ice cream caught his eyes. "Austin.." He pointed at what he wanted. Austin smiled as he ordered it for him. Jon sat at a table as he ate the ice cream. "Such a sucker for sugar huh?" Jon laughed. "Y-Yeah, candy cookies Ice cream...everything." "It's okay. I like you that way. I wouldn't change anything about you." Jon smiled at him with loving eyes. "Me too Austin."


	19. Chapter 19

Jon sighed, "Are we boarding yet Austin?" "Just a little longer Jon." Jon yawned. "I'm getting tired." "Then go to bed, I'll wake you up when we are." Jon nodded as he rested his head on Austin's shoulder. He closed his eyes as he hugged Austin. Jon opened his sleepy eyes as Austin looked at him with a concerned look, "W-What happened?" "Flight delayed." "How long?" "For a couple hours." "What time is it?" "It's almost Ten." Jon nodded as he went back to sleep. Jon slept for some hours. Austin hated to do this to him, "Jon..C'mon wake up." Jon groaned. Austin sucking his finger before putting it to Jon's ear. Jon jumped up as he rubbed his ear. "I-I'm up!" Austin chuckled as Jon glared at him. Austin got up grabbing Jon's bag. "Let's go." Jon walked with the stuffed toy, holding it to his chest. Jon flopped into his chair as Austin handed him his bag. "You going to be okay Jon?" "Y-Yeah...I-I think." "Just, please don't drink." Jon nodded. He sat back as he watched some disney movies, that calmed him down a bit. Jon started to get tired along the way. The nice flight attendets made his bed. He took off his clothes as he laid down in his underwear. It was one of those weird thing that he has to do to fall sleep. Jon laid on his chest as he hugged the bird. Jon saw Austin sitting next to him. "Hey sleepyhead. Jon smiled as Austin kissed his forehead. "We are almost there, 'bout and hour or so. Wanted to wait for you to wake up. Jon let out a tired laugh. "I don't wanna stop sleeping." Jon groaned. "I know, I know but you gotta get up." Jon nodded as he reached for his pants. He put them on before Austin grabbed his shirt. Austin kissed him again. "Alright well, get you stuff together okay?" Jon nodded. He sat in the chair as he watched outside. He was excited. He had never been out of the country, or at least this far away. He's been to Britain but nothing like this. Jon played his switched for a bit before he packed up. He put his backpack on as he followed Austin. "Okay lets go to the hotel, you hungry?" "A little." Austin pulled some places up on his phone, "What about this one?" "Yeah sure." "Alright then lets go to the hotel." They both got into a taxi. "So what are we going to do here Austin?" "Anything that you want Jon, this is for you. Not me." Jon smiled warmly. "Well, lets get something to eat and then figure out what we can do. How long are we staying?" "A week." Jon nodded. The scenery was so colorful. Jon loved it. Austin kissed Jon's cheek, "i really want you to enjoy this." Jon smiled, "I already am, because I'm with you." Austin laughed. "Really?" "Austin...I am nothing without you. I wouldn't do this is you weren't coming with me." Austin put his head on Jon's shoulder as the arrived. Both of them got out as they went up to their room. Jon flopped on the bed as he let the bag fall out of his hands. Austin jumped on the bed next to Jon. They both started cuddling each other. "You know what Austin?" "Yeah?" "I-I want to go on a date with you...A-A real date. We never went on one." "Yeah, i guess never did huh...Well when do you want to do it?" "T-Tonight..." Austin sighed contently. "We never cuddle either, I don't want to stop." Jon laughed, "Neither do I, it feels...nice." Jon sighed as he laid with Austin. "I'm glad I'm getting better." Austin smiled as he looked at Jon. "Yeah, I'm glad too." Austin watched Tv as Jon got dressed and ready. Jon came out in a tie as Austin laughed. "D-Do I look stupid?" "No, you look...so..nice." Austin stood up as he fixed Jon's collar. Austin looked at Jon. "W-What?" "Are you wearing-" "Yes, Cologne. It's been a long time since I got some but, I-I wanted be being..I dunno...formal?" Austin peck Jon on the lips. "You are so cheezy." Both of them started to laughed as Austin started to get undressed. Jon turned his back. "We are both dudes Jon, it's fine if you look." "I-I know but, I'm not used to it.." Austin nodded as he got his clothes on. "Ready yet?" "Yes, you can turn around now Jon." Jon's eyes widened. "Woah..." "What?" "I-I just never had see you....in a suit I guess." Austin chuckled. "Y-You look great is what I'm saying." "Thank you Jon." Jon nodded as he grabbed his stuff. "Let's go." Jon and Austin walked out as they walked down the pier. "It's beautiful out here." "Yeah, it is. One of the reason why I picked this place." "That and the fact that I've talked about this place every second I was with you." Austin let out a soft laugh. "Yeah." Jon kissed Austin's head. "I love you." "I love you too Austin. More than you'll ever know."


	20. Chapter 20

Jon walked into the restaurant. He sat down as Austin looked at him. He laughed softly. "What?" Jon said laughing a little. "You have such nice eyes." Jon started to get red. "Y-Yeah...My-my mom said I did when I was little." "So I know this is a bit of touchy subject Jon but....what were you like as a kid?" Jon smiled. "I-I was funny, my mom said I would make a great stand up comedian. I-I never really like the idea. A-And when I turned 7 I decided to play in little league. My dad got pissed at me so many times for not jumping to the bases." Austin laughed with him. "What were you like Austin?" "A nerd, I went to a academy. It was Asagao. I looked so different. I was such a theater boy too." "Oh trust me I was too." Jon cleared his throat. "As much as my dad hated it, it was my escape." "Really? What did you play in?" "We did the Lion king, beetle juice and Shake sphere." "Ah. Were you in any?" "I was the director, uh, but I played in beetle juice. I was beetle juice." "Ah! We did the jungle book a couple times." Jon laughed, "Classic." "Yeah." "Jeez, it's been so long.." "Yeah.." There was a long silence as Austin asked, "Why didn't you tell me before?" "A-About what?" "About.....About you?" Jon laughed awkwardly, trying to get off the subject. "Jon..." "I-I don't know okay! I-I just couldn't. I was still trying to make myself do something, a-and I want to convince myself that I was straight so that maybe....maybe my dad would love me. It's been almost 10 years and I haven't talked to him. F-Frankly I don't want to. Not unless he accepts who I am. I-I was thinking about it...maybe...maybe after this I'm not sure yet. I'm...I'm ready...I just don't know if you are." "What do you mean?" "I know whats going to happen. He's going to yell then we yell at each other then he storms off." Austin held Jon's hand, "We can try, that's all, just try." Jon sighed, "I-I guess. I would be a mess if you weren't here." Jon was silent,"When you left that night Austin..." "Jon, no please." "I feared for your life, I-I had a feeling that something was going to happen. A-And it killed me think that I couldn't be by your side and calm you down." "Jon, don't.." Jon's face started to get red. "I watched you...as you laid there....the doctor said that you might not wake up." Tears were streaming down Jon's face. "Jon, c'mon.." "I-I was loosing hope that you were going to live. I-I couldn't deal with the fact that you may die." "U-Uh..yeah check as fast as possible." "I was so scared...I-I couldn't go home.." Austin handed the guy some money. "Keep the change.." "I-I knew if-if you didn't wake up..I wouldn't hold back in killing myself..." Austin grabbed Jon arm as he started to cry harder. "Jon, babe it's okay, I'm here." "A-Austin?" "Yeah Jon?" He said as they walked down the path. "W-Would it matter if I killed myself.." Austin sighed as he was having an episode again. "Yes, of course it would." Jon started to breath heavily, "Y-You won't hurt me right? P-Promise you won't hurt me! I-I don't want you to abandon me. Austin walked Jon down to the beach as they both sat down. Jon said, "Y-You can't hurt me please? i-I don't want to break up with you please?" Austin pushed Jon's back into his chest. "Just breath Jon." Jon started to calm down a little. "We are never going to break up Jon. Ever." Austin kissed Jon. "I love you too much to do that to you." Jon laid in Austin's arms as Austin made sure he was okay. "Jon?" "Y-Yeah?" "In New York when you were in the hospital. I was scared too, but you are so strong. You are a Strong man Jon. That day I was so worried about you. And when I saw that you were okay it made my heart melt...Every time you left I was scared. Jon I love you so much, I try to make sure you're okay because I love you." Jon smiled weakly. "Don't ever thing for a second that I don't love you because you have problems. i love you because you are caring. You care about me. I care about you. A specially you." "Th-Thanks..." Jon said as his voice trembled. "Are you okay? Is-Is it over?" Jon sighed, "Yes..." Jon got up as he helped Austin. "You sure?" "Y-Yeah." Jon held Austin hand as he said, "Remember when we went to see the Museum of Natural history and you spilt ice cream on your pants?" Austin laughed, 'Yeah, that was so funny." "A-And also we went to see a broadway play? You wouldn't stop talking about it!" Austin laughed. "God you kept ranting about rockey too!" Jon laughed. "Yeah!" Austin laughed, "I guess dinner's ruined huh?" Austin sighed, "I don't care, I'm glad your okay now..." Jon said, "I-I'm sorry." "It's okay, I-I'll just order dominoes." Jon laughed, "Okay."


	21. Chapter 21

Jon sat on the bed as he sighed. "Hey, yeah can I have a uh-" Jon went into the other room to order the pizza as Austin put on a Disney movie. They were both like kids. Jon loved animated movies. Austin liked only Disney movies when it came to animated movies. Jon sighed, "It'll be done in a few minutes so I'm going to get it. I'll call you when I'm getting back." Austin nodded, "Yeah. Just be careful." Austin handed him 20 bucks as he walked out the hotel. Jon walked out, it was colder than usual. Although it was kinda hot outside. Jon walked into the pizza place. Jon pulled out his phone as he listened to music. Aside from everything, music was like a whole other world to Jon. It was like theater, an escape that no one can ruin no matter what. His favorite song was Where's my mind. It reminded of so many things.

Jon took a puff as he passed it on, he blew the smoke out as he took a sip of his beer. "Where the fuckin' coke man!?" Jon yelled. "It's coming! Hold your damn horses!" Jon sighed as he said, "C'mon, I need a bigger hit." Alex, one of his friends gave it back as Jon took another huge hit. "Your not fucking high yet Jon?" "Trust me, I have a high tolerance for this shit.." "I can see that..." 

Jon grabbed the pizza as he walked down the street. He saw some guys as he walked past them. "Hey!" Jon turned around as he stuffed his earbuds into his pocket. "W-What? You guys need something?" "Yeah, want some?" Held up a bag of green stuff. "N-No thanks, I have someone waiting...I-I have to go.." "Who?" Jon turned around again as he was getting irritated. "Who's waiting?" "M-My uh...significant other..." the laughed, "What your gay?" Jon's face changed, "I-I really have to get home." "Oh man, the guy on the streets got a boy waiting for him." "L-Listen man I have to go." They started walking closer. "Where you going?" Jon started to walk away. He heard them start to run. As he saw them he sprinted across the corner of the street as he ran. Jon ran as he slid across. He went to the other side of the street as he turned to another corner as he tripped. Jon huffed as he scrambled to his feet. His chest started to hurt from running but he kept running. Running as fast as he could. He tripped as he hit his face on the sidewalk. "F-Fuck..." He muttered. He saw a glimpse of their feet, "Shit, Shit, shit, SHIT!" He tried getting up as one of the guys hit his back down. "P-Please, J-Just let me go..." "Yeah, Okay pretty boy..." Jon fell as one of them shoved him down. "Get up pretty boy! C'mon get up!" Jon started to cry. "You fucking faggots. You guys are bitches!" He kicked Jon's side as Jon groaned in pain. He held a hand out as Jon winced as The buff guys said, "Okay, c'mon get up." Jon grabbed his hand reluctantly as he patted him on the back, "W-Why are you-" "GO!" He yelled. One of the guys kicked him in the balls as he dropped to his knees. Another guy kicked him in the face. It reminded him of why he wanted to be straight. He just wanted Austin. Jon held his hand on his head as they kept hitting him. They kicked his face as they left. Jon sat up against the wall. Jon sighed as he got up. He limped back to the hotel. Austin saw Jon come in. "Holy fucking shit, Jon what the hell?" Jon sat on the bed. "Could you get me something to wipe the blood off?" "Jon-" "Just get me a damn towel!" He snapped. Austin gave one to him. "What happened?" "Some guys just jumped me.." He handed Austin the pizza. "What did they do? Are you okay?" "They were just some dealers on the streets, they roughed me up a little." "Jon, your bleeding!" "I'm fine.." "You have a bruise..." "It will go away." Jon laid on the bed. "Lost my appetite." Austin sighed. "Yeah..I-I'm so sorry." Jon took off his shirt and pants as he went to bed. "Yeah, I'm tired..." Austin kissed Jon's head, "Take it easy, again I'm-" "It wasn't you fault..." Jon said sleepily. Jon woke up in his underwear as he stood up. He saw the same guys. He stumbled back as they yelled, "GET HIM!" Jon started to run forward. He ran down the streets barefoot. He felt himself slide as scrape his feet as he just kept running. He started to wheeze. His chest grew tight as he coughed. He kept running, They caught up to him as one of them. They grabbed a bat as they beat his ball in. Jon groaned in pain as they hit his head repeatedly. Jon felt his head as he started to bleed. Jon scurried up as he ran father away. One of them shot his leg as Jon screamed. He caught a glimpse of them as he stood up on his leg. He darted down the streets as the blood left a trail. His leg burned with the strong pain as the adrenaline rush distracted him. They grabbed his arms as he kicked and punched. Austin came tied up as he yelled, "Jon! Jo be strong! Be strong like I know you are! I'm going to be okay!" Jon screamed as he cried, "NO! NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! DON'T HURT HIM! KILL ME! KILL FUCKING ME! DON'T HURT AUSTIN!" "This you little lover?" the guy teased. The guy got handed as gun. "I'm thinking of a 6 letter word. Get it wrong he gets shot." "STOP IT!" "No, not exactly." He shot Austin's leg as Austin yelled. "DON'T HURT HIM STOP IT!" He shot his other leg. "One more...." "PLEASE!" "Awww so close." He threw the gun as they guys surrounded him. "W-What are you doing?!" They guy took a match as he lit Austin on fire. Jon broke free as they Shot Austin's face. Jon grabbed the gun as one of them pulled out another shooting Jon."


	22. Chapter 22

"Jon!" Jon gasped as his body was covered with sweat. He started to cry almost immediately. "Jon!" Jon breathed heavily as Austin snapped his finger in front of Jon's face. "You okay? You were screaming..." Jon hugged Austin. "Hey, I'm here...what happened?" "Th-The guys, they beat me up." "Woah.." "A-And then they shot your legs and set you on fire. i-I tried to shoot them, then they shot you...and I-I got shot too..." "Jesus Jon." Jon laid down as he stared at the ceiling. "I-I felt that pain. It burned, like...a lot. And I-I felt your pain too..." "It was just a dream. It's okay." Jon sighed as he propped himself up. There was no going back to sleep after that. Jon laid his head on the banister as he watched Austin sleep peacefully. He closed his eyes. It took him almost an hour to fall asleep. Jon woke up to the warmth of the sunlight. "Hey, your up." Jon turned his head as he groaned happily. "It warm outside, thought we might go to the beach." Jon nodded as he got out of bed. "You want me to get my bathing suit on?" "Yeah, I have mine on so." Jon went into the bathroom as he put his swim trunks on. He grabbed his toothbrush as he brushed his teeth. Jon came out as he wrapped his arms around Austin. "I'm sorry..." "For what?" "For...ruining this..." "Jon, you didn't ruin this." Jon sighed. "I know but...I-I just feel like I ruin everything for you..." Austin laughed slightly. "No...you don't run things Jon. You make them better." Jon got closer as both of them smiled. Jon kissed him softly. Austin grabbed Jon's face as he kissed him deeper. Jon let go. "I love you..." Jon hugged Austin tightly as Austin hugged him back. "Let's go." Jon laughed as he tightly held Austin's hand. It was kinda strange that Jon had held his hand in public. Jon ran onto the beach as they got out. Jon laughed as Austin ran after. "Hey you!" Jon laughed hysterically as he laid on the hot sand. Jon put his sunglasses on as he stared at the sun. "Don't stare, you'll go blind.." Jon laughed. He put his hands behind his head as him and Austin laid in the sun. "Do you ever think about us having a family Austin?" Austin sighed contently. "Yes, a lot actually." Jon laughed. "I always think ahead you know.." Jon looked at Austin as he kept his hands in the same position. "I've always wanted to be a father. I contemplated names..." Austin laughed, "What if you had a son?" "I'd name him Liam." "That's, actually not a bad name. What if you had a girl?" "Hmm, I thought about it, can't choose over two names though.." "What's that?" "Ava or Elizabeth." "Nice...I like Ava..." Jon laughed. "What would you name them?" "Noah, and Morgan." Jon nodded. "I like those names too." "Would you mind if I called one of them Junior?" Jon looked towards Austin. "Why would you want to name them after me?" "Because, their father is one of the best one's out their." Jon blushed a bit. "We would have to adopt you know..." "Not exactly..." "What do you mean? I can't exactly give birth you know.." Austin chuckled, "No I mean, I have a sister. Her name is Sarah. You would have to go through with it." "Wait you mean?" "No, not unless you want to. You could just jack off into a tube." Jon laughed. "What?" "The way you said it Austin, it was funny." Jon laid on his chest as he looked longingly into his eyes. "What about being married? Thought of that?" "Yeah, I thought of that too." "It's funny you know..." "What?" "Falling in love with someone." "What do you mean Austin?" "You surrender everything to one person, making yourself completely vulnerable, just to spend your life with this person. After all that's happened why did you like me the most?" "I guess I just saw how, mature you were. I'm not mature at all. The thing I feared all m life was never fitting in with the other guys. I never liked sports, I found it boring. I knew you at a time in my life that wasn't the best per say. I was doing so many drugs, I was actually surprised I even lived. The moment I met you, for some reason, I found something inside you that I liked. I suppressed it though, because I was told my whole life that it was wrong to like you Austin. I was something I wasn't supposed to be. I chose you because, you were so much different from everybody. You were nice, caring, and understanding to me....Nobody was ever that nice to me, nobody. Except you." Jon sighed, "Well, enough about me and my bullshit. Why did YOU like me." "You seemed a bit off, like you needed help with something. Like you needed someone. I always thought that of you. I saw you work very hard, you've always been working very hard. I've seen you with her and how uncomfortable you were around her. You would avoid her at all costs actually. You would always try not to hug her or go the other way." Jon sighed, "Yeah..." Austin got closer. "It doesn't matter how I met you, the point is I did, and I love you for it." Jon laughed as his kissed Austin. "Let's go in the water before it gets cold!" "Are you kidding me? This place is hotter than California!"


	23. Chapter 23

The splashed on against Jon's head as Austin laughed. Jon slashed water in Austin's face. "Ow fuck-my-my eye!" Jon jumped up as he ran over to Austin. "Jeez, I-I'm so sorr-" Jon winced as Austin splashed water into Jon's face. "Gotcha!" "Why you little-" Jon grabbed Austin as he kissed him. Jon laughed as he let go of him. "Jerk.." he whispered. Austin laughed. Jon had a smug look on his face. "What?" Jon just stared at him. "Why is warm? ARE YOU KIDDING ME JON!?" He yelled. Jon burst into laughter. "That's so fucking disgusting dude!" Jon laughed harder as Austin lectured him. Jon let the water run onto his legs. "We just kids...lets have fun while we can y'know?" "Yeah, we are. We're young, we have to live, at least live to the fullest." Jon kissed Austin as he came out of the water. "We have a long trip home Tonight." "Yeah, we do..." Jon stated. "I want to go see my father..." "R-Really? Are you sure?" "Yes, I...I just want to talk with him. Just, Like old times, Like when I was a kid." "When?" "Tomorrow morning. I'm going to call my mom right now actually." Austin hugged Jon. Jon's chest was a mix of sweat and sweaty but Austin didn't mind. Jon laughed as he grabbed his phone. He dialed the number as he sighed. He went off on the sidewalk as he walked a little bit down the pier. "Hey." "H-Hello who is this?" She said in her accent. "It's...it's your son.." Jon could hear her surprise in her voice. He laughed. "I'm coming home for a bit tomorrow." "R-Really? Y-You serious?" "Yes, I'm coming home." She heard Jon yelled to Austin, "Just go back to the hotel okay?" Jon kissed Austin's head. "I-I heard she's pregnant." Jon's eyes widened. "How do you know?" "It's on the facebooks..." "Facebook mom, not facebooks." "Whatever!" Jon whispered underneath his breath, "Who the fuck knocked her up?" "Jonathan!" "M-Mom..I didn't get her pregnant." "Sh-She cheated on you?" "No mom, we aren't together. Remember as a kid I was with Charlie?" "Yes...Before-" "Yeah, that..well I-I've....." Jon sighed as he tried to think of words to tell her. "I-I know...I know..." "You remember Austin?" "Yes, you were great friends with him." "Well, we aren't married, or engaged...yet...but we plan on having a family." "That's great! Does that mean?" "Yes, you will be a grandmother..Austin's sister she's going to have the kids for us." "K-Kids?" "Yeah, two...maybe three.." Jon felt so much more comfortable with his mother than his father. "I-Y-Your so grown..." "I-I'm only 29. I still got years on me.." "I know just...I missed so much in your life. I-I'm so sorry.." "It wasn't your fault." He didn't blame his mother for not stepping in about the situation. "I love you...I have to go..we are leaving in a little." "Okay, I'l see you tomorrow....one quick thing?" "Yeah?" "Where in New York do you live?" "I live in California now, Los Angeles actually. Don't worry, I'll visit. Bye mom." He heard the click as he caught up with Austin. "So?" "She misses me a lot. She's glad that your coming over too." "Did you tell her?" "She knew from the beginning." Austin huffed. "Well, let's get packing, it leaves in a few hours." "Right!" Jon and Austin walked back to the hotel as Jon said, "Hey, I'm going to take a shower. I'll be out in 20 minutes." Austin nodded as he packed his laptop in Jon's backpack. Jon let the warm water flourish in his body as he cleaned his areas. He got out as Austin laughed as he roughed up Jon's hair. "Well, lets get you stuff packed we leave in a couple hours, we better be ready." "Right. Okay.."


	24. Chapter 24

Jon threw Austin a Pepsi as he grabbed a slice of pizza. "What time is it?" Jon said with a mouthful. "You are going to choke one day. It's almost 11. We have half an hour." Jon nodded as he opened his soda. "Alright it's a 20 minute drive, get your shirt on." Jon buttoned his flannel up as he put his back pack on. "Let's go." Austin said cheerfully, "Excited to go home?" "Hell yeah, I wanna give Jacques so many kisses when I get home." "Jacques misses you a lot." "Yeah I bet." Jon angrily sighed. "What?" "I hate planes so much..They are so uncomfortable." "Just hug your bird." Jon smiled, "Right.." Jon hugged Austin as he kissed his head. "I said your bird." Jon laughed, "Yes but your better." "Alright I'm going to have to arrest you for being that smooth." Jon laughed as Jon looked warmly into Austin. "Are you scared?" "About what-Oh...Yeah. A little." "Do you want me to-" "Of cource I do Austin, why wouldn't I?" They both sat int he car as the uber guy drove them to the airport. "Don't worry I'll be fine..." Jon sighed as he laid his head back.

Jon wiped the tears off his face as he took a swig of the whiskey bottle. Jon coughed as Barry came over. "Where's Charlie?" Jon sighed, "I don't know..." "You doing okay?" Jon laughed, "His dad accepted him. My dad can't even look at me. This is my last year Barry, and I can't even dance with Charlie." Barry looked at Jon's hands. "Jon.." "It's not FUCKING FAIR!" "Hey, calm down." Jon rubbed his eyes. He looked at Barry as he cried, "I miss him, I-I miss Charlie. I-I'm so on watch I can't even hug him.." Barry patted Jon's shoulder. "Just don't do anything stupid." Jon scoffed, "My whole life is stupid." He went to the bathroom. He washed his face off as he heard someone come in. "Hey scruffy..." Jon whipped around. "Ch-Charlie?" He smiled as he looked at him. He saw tears on Charlie's face too. Charlie came closer as he hugged Jon. Jon cried over his shoulder, "I-I've missed you so much..it's been so unfair! He won't let me do anything!" Charlie rubbed his back, "It's okay, it's okay Jon. I'm here now." Jon looked up. Charlie gave Jon a warm smile. Jon wiped the tears off as they kissed each other. It was going to be the last one they ever shared. Charlie let go. As he laughed, "No cameras...one last time?" Jon lifted Charlie on the counter as he kissed his neck.

Jon pulled up his pant's as he tightened his belt. "I love you...I got you something..." He gave Jon a yearbook. It had everyone's signatures. And charlie wrote something in it. "If you ever miss me...look as the little paragraph at the back. The whole page was filled with a letter. "Read it when your sad." Jon sat down as he saw there was a bunch of pictures of him and Charlie. Whether it was them as kids or them kissing. Every picture was there. Charlies said quickly, "Before I go, I wanted to tell you. I asked the teachers, they know about you situation. They specifically added those....just for you." Jon smiled as he kissed him one last time. Charlie wrapped his arms around Jon as they just kissed. Jon was holding on for longer than Charlie anticipated. Charlies phone kept buzzing, Jon didn't mind...he just wanted to say goodbye for the rest of the time that he had with him. "I love you scruffy." Jon laughed, "I love you too Charlie, forever." Jon put the book into his jacket as he started to leave. He threw the bottle of whiskey out as he wasn't drinking anytime soon.

"Charlie! Where the fuck were you?" "I was with Jon.." "Oh? How's he doing?" "Not good, he's been skipping, and drinking." His dad sighed. "Poor kid.." Charlie sat in the car. "Do you know why?" "Ever since his dad put him in conversion therapy and made us break up." "L-Listen you know I'm sorry for that right Charlie?" "Yes dad I know, but his dad is not so accepting of his sexuality." "Charlie I-" "Enough dad.....can we just go home already?" 

"Jonathan!" Jon growled as he sat in the front seat. The whole ride home was silent. "Why did you take so long?" Jon's father yelled. "Because I was with someone!" "Is it Charlie?! I'll kill that boy if keeps going near you!" "Dad I went near him!" Jon yelled back. "Calm down! He's just growing!" "Shut up you bitch!" Jon ran out as he charged at his father. He grabbed his collar, "I MAY BE 17 BUT YOU WILL NOT HIT MY MOTHER!! I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DO THAT! HIT ME AS MUCH AS YOU WANT! BUT DO NOT HIT MY MOM!" He shoved Jon to the ground as he beat his face in. That night Jon went to the hospital....because of his father..

"Is he doing okay?" "Yes, he's awake which is good. May I ask how he is doing?" "Well you see-" Jon's father interjected. "A kid, he beat him to smithers." "Yeah, well I'll let the boy in first." "Boy?!" Jon's mom put her hand on his chest as he loudly whispered. "It is against the bi-" "Is he having sex?" "No but-" "Is...he...having...sex?" "No but my point-" "He is allowed in then. They are just talking.." Charlie walked in as they both stayed outside. Jon sat up as he had bruises all over his face. Charlie started to hysterically cry. "J-Jon...o-oh my god." Jon laughed as Charlie hugged him. "W-Who?" "Who do you think?" "J-Jon this is child abuse...h-he can get arrested." "At what cost? Life? Charlie I don't want to do that to my father...I love him.." "How?" charlie chocked out angrily. "Ch-" "How could you love a man who's trying to kill you?" "Charlie...he loves me...h-he just needs time to understand. I-I know both of us have grown impatient but this is not an over night thing!" "Jonathan Aryan Jafari, you have stitched in the side of you head, and you have been beaten since you were 15, I will not let him to this to you." Jon jumped up as he ripped the IV's out. "THEN LEAVE CHARLIE! I LOVE HIM! HE'S MY FATHER! NOTHING WILL CHANGE THAT." Jon got his pants and shirt on. "Jon, please..." Jon teared up, "W-When I'm 18 I promise I will leave." "Leave with me...go somewhere." Jon felt Charlies hands on his cheek. "I-I can't...Charlie hastily grabbed a piece of paper. "Call me Jon! Promise you will call me..." Charlie as Jon got close together as Charlie put his hands on Jon's hips. "I'M INTERVENING!" "No! Let the boys be! Just this once!" Jon leaned in as he kissed him lightly. "Goodbye Charlie...forever....this time...I won't be coming back. Never forget me." Charlie got his yearbook out. "When you...got hit....we just left...I still had mine..I want you to sign it." Jon wrote in the book.

"Dear Charlie, I love you so much. We've been through a lot...but I now we have to split. I still love you. And I will always love you..I will always be yours. Thank you for the wonderful years. signed -Scruffy A.K.A. Jon Jafari"

Jon laughed as he watched Charlie leave. "I love you Charlie." "I love you too scruffy..." Jon smiled.


	25. Chapter 25

Jon rolled out of bed. They had gotten home quite late. Jon put his gym shorts on as he turned off his alarm. Austin grabbed Jon's hand. "Is it time??" "Yes, Austin.." Austin laughed. "Okay, I'll be up in a few minutes. Jon went into the kitchen. It was pitch black. He shook the mixture in the water bottle up. Austin came out a little bit later. "Protein shake?" Jon offered. "That shit is almost as bad at monster." Jon looked over as he had a mouthful. Austin walked over. "Lift you chin up." Jon did so as Austin wiped off his beard. "Let's go..nervous about this..." "A little, that's why i'm going to the gym." Austin laughed as they walked to the gym. "Why do you drink that shit?" Jon laughed, "It's better than red bulls." Both of them laughed as Jon walked in. Jon held the door open. It was barren. Jon set the weights to 50, "Call me if you need anything." "Yeah." Jon lifted heavy weights, almost twice his weight. Jon put his music in as he was focused on lifting. Getting all the nervousness out of his body. Jon was a heavy sweater, his sweat always bled through his shirt. Jon got up as he started to lift with his arms. He had a bigger gut, but when it came to his arms, he was all muscle. Jon had been there for a while, then again he was all about arms. Jon sighed as Austin came over, "I'm going to head home, I'll be fine..just tired." Jon laughed. "Okay.." He held Austin's hand as he gave him a kiss. He continued for a little more as he felt a hand on his back. He took out his ear buds as he turned around. A bright blonde guy with a small goatee looked at him. He said in a flamboyant voice, "Hey you look a little familiar do I know you?" The guy was wearing make up and Jon didn't exactly recognize him. "Uh, sorry man," Jon was reluctant to say thing but, "Yeah, my boyfriend Austin, just left...but I'm don't think I do.." He laughed, "Yeah well, my name is Charlie..so.." Jon stopped for a second. "C-Charlie?" "Yeah.." "A-Are you gay by chance?" He looked a bit weird. "Yeah..." Jon laughed. "After all these years.." he whispered. "You still look stunning.." He blushed slightly. "One word Charlie." Charlie looked puzzled. "Scruffy." He gasped. "No...REALLY?!" Jon laughed. "W-Wait...." "What's wrong?" "I-I thought that-" "Listen...i-he changed me...you changed me too...but..I'm confronting him today about it." 'it's been...so...long..." "12 years...this is gong to be the first time I've seen them in a while." "I-I'm so glad...your okay..." "Not even close..." He whispered underneath his breath. "W-What happened?" "A-A lot..." "What happened? Did something go wrong?" "For the first 3 years alone I did hard drugs. I started having episode after I got a girlfriend who I didn't love. I was depressed and tried to kill myself multiple times. Then Austin helped me and I still have episode but, I-I''m getting better." "Jesus Christ...." Jon laughed,"I'm fine, Charlie...I'm fine." "I know but now that your...you...I just feel so bad...for not being there." Jon hugged charlie, "No hard feelings?" "Yeah.." Jon sighed as smiled. "Well I have to be somewhere in a bit." "Jon?" "Yes?" "Here.." Charlie handed a piece of paper. "If you need anything just call me...I'm not asking to hookup or anything but, if you need me I'm there.." Jon nodded as he walked out. He called Austin, "You will never believe who I ran into Austin."


	26. Chapter 26

Jon made sure that he was looking at least okay. Jon sighed as he looked at himself. Jon lifted his shirt as he stared at himself. Austin came over. "Jon, your fine..." Jon said nothing. Austin saw that Jon was studying his body. "Jon.." "Every single time...for years and I still can't Austin..." "Jon, you not fat..." "Yes I am...look." Austin sighed as Jon turned around. "Jon..no your not." Jon sighed. "You worrying too much about you looks." "Austin he's going to tease me about it..." "He's your father...he won't do that to you." Jon hugged Austin. "I hope this goes okay." "Yeah." Jon got up as he got into the car. Austin drove him to the house. Jon huffed. "Just relax, don't stress over this." Jon nodded. He came inside. "Jon!" his mother shrieked. Jon gave her a hug. "I missed you so much mom...I really did." "I misses you too!" She let go as she took a look at Austin. "Hello Mr. Jafari." He chipperly said. "A-Are you Austin?" "Yes, I-I am." He held out a hand. "Pleasure to meet you Austin." he smiled. "Jon..i-I want you to go to your room, I want you to see something. I-I never changed anything." Jon laughed. he walked down the halls as he went into his room. He wanted to cry...this room brought so much happiness...but pain at the same time. Austin put a hand on his shoulder, "You okay?" "Y-Yeah...no yeah I-I'm fine." Jon looked around. His old games were there too. He sat on the bed as he realized something. Jon looked under his mattress as he pulled out a book. "What's that?" "A special...yearbook." He looked at the very back of the book, 

"Dear Jon, hey scuffy...you didn't come to school I saw. I hope your okay. I miss you so much...I wish he didn't put you in the camps. I can't change that though. I love you. I wanted to tell you that no matter how hard it gets Jon, think of me. I've seen those scars on your arms and legs. I cry almost everyday because of that. I want you to stay strong. Be the big brave boy I know you can be. You are my everything, I know you can stay strong. If it ever comes to that Jon, and I mean ever. Call me, text me, talk to someone. Your not going through this alone. I don't want you to die yet. Please, just...don't kill yourself. Get a counselor. Or see someone. Talk to people just please...I love you...signed...Charlie..."

Austin noticed Jon crying. "Hey, hey Jon what-" Jon handed him the book. "It was so long ago, but it feels like yesterday. Austin hugged Jon. "He caused me so much pain. Th-That night Charlie gave me the book. I almost died because of him. A-And yet I still decided I loved him." Austin knew today was going to be hard for Jon in many different ways. Austin just wanted to help, but he knew Jon's history.

Jon got up as he grabbed the book. I-I want to keep it, I..I just want to." Austin rubbed his back. "Yeah." Jon smiled as he was moving on slowly. He was getting better. He was trying. Jon heard his mom talking with someone. "He's here Austin, I have to tell you, he is a bit intimidating." Austin laughed, "Yeah..will do." Jon walked out. His dad turned around. "J-Jon?" He waved. "Hey dad...been a while.." "You brought one of your buddies too!" Jon got a little angry by the fact that he would call Austin just a friend. "Yeah." Jon sat down. "So, how Sophia? She doing okay? I heard she got pregnant!" Jon sighed. "Yeah well I'm not the father." "Oh, she..cheated on you?" "No dad, we broke up...a while back." "Oh, well I suppose you have a girlfriend then?" Jon angrily sighed, his patients were wearing down. "No, Austin...Austin is my boyfriend.." "Boy....friend?" "Yeah..." "Y-Your joking right Jon?" "No, I'm not. I've told you once and I'll tell you again. I'm gay dad." "No, no your choosing to be gay Jon. I-I don't know what or who is teaching you this bull but you aren't gay." Jon rolled his eyes. "I told you when i was 15!" "Yeah and it's against the bible!" "Fuck the bible dad! I am so tired of you throwing that shit at me!" "Well I'm tired of a faggot for a son!" "Wanna fucking bet!?" "Do not call him that!" "I can't fucking win...Every single fucking day dad! I tried changing! I tried! And guess what! It didn't help!" "I will not have a gay son! You are going against what i believe in!" "14 YEARS DAD! 14 FUCKING YEARS I HAD TO THINK ABOUT DISOWNING MY FAMILY! AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM SO TIRED OF THIS BULLSHIT! GETTING TREATED LIKE I'M NOTHING BECAUSE AUSTIN AND MOM ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO LOVED ME! I NEEDED A FATHER AT THE HARDEST TIME AND YOU WERE SO DISGUSTED WITH WHO I WENT TO BED WITH THAT YOU WOULD BEAT ME DAILY! I COULD HAVE HAD YOU ARRESTED YET I DIDN'T! YOU KNOW WHY!?! BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT ONE DAY YOU WOULD LOVE ME! GUESS THAT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED RIGHT?!" Jon cried hysterically as he just wanted his dad back. "I wanted my father to love me and I couldn't even get that...why can;'t you just accept me for who I am? Why does it matter?" Austin looked at Jon as he cried. He hugged him as he cried even harder. "I-It's okay Jon, you just having an episode.." "An epi-What the fuck?" Jon sat down as he tried calming himself down. "D-Dad i have PTSD...I-I have memories I can't forget..And it makes me want to." "Jon! Don't...think about it..it will make it worse." "Dad I've tried to kill myself more times than I can count..." "I-I..." Jon sighed, "Why is it so hard to accept someone?" Jon's father was silent. "I-I'm sorry..." he said quietly. "Jon...go ait in the car for a bit..." Jon walked outside. "Jon has almost 3 mental disorders...and it's all because of ptsd. he's an alcoholic for sure...but that's all he can do. Drink away the pain. He's ran off many times and at one point I was in the hospital and he was there by my side for weeks. No sleep, eating very little...I love him so much. We talked about having a family, having kids. trying to be normal." Austin was at a loss for words. "Jon has...a lot of issues, but I'm willing to give up anything and everything for his happiness. This...this is one of those thing where I can't make him happy. It hurts me the most...I just hope you would consider the idea....you don't have to accept our relationship but accept him. He needs this..He needs a father..." Austin got up as he walked out of the house. It was up to his father whether he would accept him. But for now...Jon was going to forget about him, forget for the rest of his life. Like he did when he left. That's what he was good at right? Shutting people out. "let's go.." Austin said as he held Jon's hand.


	27. Chapter 27

Jon sighed as he cried, "I knew this would fucking happen!" Jon this is non of your fault." "Yes it is!" Jon sighed as Austin sat next to him. Jon cried as he said, "Why is it always me." His voice sounded broken...like nothing before Austin has heard. Worse, like this time things cant be fixed. Austin hugged Jon as Jon cried silently. "I-I'll be in my room if you need me Austin." Jon said. Austin nodded as Jon cried in bed. He didn't want Austin to see him like this. Austin has seen him cry so many times but, not like this. Jon questioned his love for his father at this point. He question whether it was worth it now. Maybe he should just forget his family. His friends and Austin were his only family now. Jon has been to his parents house for Christmas before, every time Jon had played an excuse. 'oh, hard to find women' or, 'I'm a picky guy' and sometimes, 'oh sorry we broke up' just so he didn't have to hear it from his father. He felt alienated. His father created so many names for him. So much abuse he had to endure. It made him feel like maybe his father was so right. His father was speaking the truth, he had no purpose and needed to change, but it was never easy. He loved Austin to oblivion. why would he let that go? Over some stupid guy who never loved him once nor accepted him. Jon sighed as he felt guilty, getting angry and crying making such a big deal over something so stupid. He moved back to California so he could be closer to his parents, and now, seeing them is an option he will never think about again. Jon got up, as he came back out. Austin hugged Jon, "You okay?" Austin said as he kissed Jon's shoulder. Jon nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine or whatever." Austin sat with Jon. "What happened? Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself? Is everything alright?" "Austin i'm fine! Stop fucking babying me! I can take care of myself!" "Jon, I'm just worried.." "Worried about what?! That I'll try and kill myself again?! Yeah, I'll probably do that because right now life fucking sucks!" "Jon, if your feeling that way then get someone to help you." "Why?! So they can tell me that I'm fucking insane too?! Hell no! I'm not dealing with that shit! I have that when I was 21, and it sucked!" "Jon, just think about it." "I'm not going to be a big baby about this shit anymore." Jon opened the door as Austin grabbed his shoulder. "Where are you going?!" "I'm going somewhere." "Where?!" Jon rolled his eyes as he slammed the door. Anger filled his mind. He walked down street past street to his dad's house. Every smack, every hit that his dad ever did to him was coming back. All the pain he caused Jon. All the emotional problems he gave Jon raced through his mind. Every single thing that happened in school was because of his father. The way the teachers treated him, the way the guys treated him. Charlie, Barry, Shane. Everyone left him alone. His whole life he's been teased for stupid things. His weight, his sexuality, his mental state. Jon jerked the handle as he opened the door. He rolled up his sleeves as he looked for his father. "Where is he?" Jon calmly asked. "Jon, your here-" "Where is dad." "He's in his room." Jon nodded as he walked there. Jon was in the door way, "Jon? What the fuck are-" Jon grabbed his dad by the collar as he punched his face into the door way. Jon shoved him outside. "Get up!" Jon yelled Jon kicked his stomach as he fell. "Go on tough guy, get the fuck up see what happens." Jon beat his face in. Adrenaline ran through him as he kept hitting his father. His dad got up. "Punch me, do it. Because you are in a world of hell. I'll call the police." Jon laughed, "Do it! I dare you, fucking do it. You have no balls, I do. I've stood in your position for so long, it's time for some payback." Jon punched him square in the nose as he slammed his foot into his father's leg. A loud crack echoed as he said, "Oh a broken leg, let break it more huh?" Jon continued to beat his father mercilessly. "JON! STOP IT!" Jon turned his head as he heard Austin. "Get the fuck home! I don't want you to see this." Austin ran to Jon as he restrained him. Jon kicked as he heard sirens. Austin thought this was the end. Jon was going to prison. Austin calmed Jon down as the police pointed a gun at him. They put him in handcuffs as the officer said, "You're going in for assault-" "Do it! I have so much evidence that he did this to me! I have pictures! Videos!" Jon huffed as he tried ripping away. Austin started to tear up as he saw Jon get put into a cruiser. Jon sighed as the blood dripped down him nose. His dad punched him leaving many bruises and cuts but Jon was ready for a fight. "Are you okay?" "I'm fine." Jon laughed as he saw his dad in the ambulance. "You're one sick son of a bitch." Jon looked at him. "When you've been what I've been through, you'd be a little ticked off too." Jon watched as Austin cried. "What's with that kid?" "He's my boyfriend." They both liked each other. "What happened to you?" "It's a long story." "We have time." Jon sighed as he started, "I was born into a pastor, my father. And he was some Christian fucker who believed in being gay is a sin and it doesn't matter what you do as long as the 'demon' is out of them." Jon continued telling them as they took him out of the car. "Your going to have to testify because of this." Jon nodded, "I know...I'd rather go to jail knowing he learned his lesson then live in agony."


	28. Chapter 28

Jon sighed as he put his hands behind his back. Jon sighed as the guy knocked on the bars. "What?" Jon said pissed off. "Someone to see you, you got an hour." Jon nodded. He got up as he held the ice pack on his eye. Austin slapped him. Jon rubbed his face as Austin yelled, "W-What the FUCK were you thinking Jonathan! D-Did you think about me?! No! I-I can't believe this! You could go to prison for this!" Austin wiped his eyes. "Did you think for a second about the consequences." Jon sighed, Austin was right. He could go away for a while because of this. "Your going to go to prison Jon! Do you know that?! Do you know that-" Jon grabbed Austin as he kissed him passionately. Jon hugged him. "If I go, then I go Austin. I can't change that and your right, I shouldn't have done it but, I can't turn back. Austin, I really do love you I just...I can't explain why I did this." Austin nodded. "Let's go home, now.." The officer nodded as they left.

Jon sat down, "Ow ow, OW! That fucking hurts." "Don't be a big baby." Jon huffed as Austin rubbed some stuff on his face to help with the bruising. Austin wiped his nose. "He did punch your nose pretty hard. Put your head up." Jon looked up as he said, "Yeah well, he deserves what he gets." "Jon's he's your father." "Austin, if your parents abused you for 6 years would you still love them?" Austin was silent, "What I thought." Jon sighed, "I'm sorry Austin, I..I just really.." Jon sighed as his fists clenched. "I really fucking hate him." Jon sighed as Austin continued to help Jon. "If I went to prison Austin, would you ever love me still?" Austin smiled as he pecked Jon's lips. "Of cource, You are my everything." Jon smiled, "He said I have to go tomorrow." "I know. Listen you have good lawyer Jon, you're fine." "But what if? What if I'm not okay?" "Jon, he has abused you for lie you said, 6 years so they can't have dirt on you for that." Jon nodded. "I just don't want to lose you." "I don't either Jon." 

Jon sighed as he tapped his foot. He was nervous completely. "You'll be fine Jon, trust me. These men can't do anything to you." He patted Jon's back as he sat down on the stand. "Jon Jafari, if I a correct you are Adam's son?" Jon nodded. "Okay, and again going by what the damages are, you beat him to smithers?" "No, just-" "Did you attack him?" "Yeah." "Well then you beat him mercilessly." "Yeah I did, but he deserved it." "He did the exact same thing to me, if not worse." "Do you have evidence of this?" "Yeah I do." "Can I see it?" Jon's lawyer gave him a yearbook as he flipped through the pages. "Right fucking here, I have three bruises on my face." "Okay thats-" "Junior year, right here I had cut's o my arm from him hitting me." "Still there is no-" Jon showed a picture of him and Charlie, Jon had a black eye, and his arm in cast as he broke it. Jon looked like he was in pain but hiding it with a smile. "Well you have no video proof or witnesses so, you could have just fell and bruised. Or get beat up." Jon rolled his eyes as he sat next to his lawyer. "I got your back." "How?" "Charlie.." "He's here?!" "Yes, you can use him as witness." Jon nodded as his father spoke on the stand. Jon was already annoyed beyond belief because he had to do this. "He came to me, and he beat me. I've never seen him so angry. I don't know what sparked it. I gave him what he wanted. I gave him money. He was my son, how could I do all those thing to my own blood?" Jon huffed. "Mr. Jafari? Anything to say to that?" "Yeah, I have a witness that you did those thing to me." "Any who?" "Charlie Azon." "Okay then." Charlie came up. "Have you ever seen Jon get hurt." "Yes," "By who?" "His father." "And do you know what he did to him?" "Yes." "What did he do?" "Jon kissed me, and his father slapped him. His father proceeded to kick and punch him as he yelled bible verses. He also would tease and make fun of Jon for small things. I remember one day I was...being intimate with him and His father walked in on us. Jon and I both got our clothes on and he slammed don against the wall. He also slammed Jon's head into the wall as Jon's head started to bleed. Jon later had to go to the hospital. This was almost a daily occurrence not to mention the conversion camps." "Conversion camp? Explain that to me." "I went to one during one summer. Since Jon was a pastor's son they would make Jon do more work. They would try to make Jon think he was straight when he wasn't. Which caused later anxiety, nervousness and PTSD." "Well Jon, anyone else." "Austin.." Austin came up. "Mr. Hargrave, anything you would like to add." "Jon was and still is suicidal because of this. he's been in the hospital most times. Almost every time he had stated that he couldn't take life because of his father." "Anything else, have you experienced such hated from Mr. Jafari to Jon?" "Yes, this past Tuesday. Jon went to make amends with his father as well as introduce me. His father bombarded him with hatred then." They both sat down. "Will I be okay?" The lawyer looked at him. "Your son he's got a lot of you, honestly your fucked." The judge looked at Jon, "I find Jonathan Jafari not guilty of assault. As for you Mr. Jafari. I'm afraid you are going to prison for 10-" "Don't give him prison, he'd enjoy it." "Well Jon, what would you like me to do?" "Keep in the house for a few months. Maybe then he'll learn." "Well then probation." 

Jon sighed as he sat outside. "You okay Jon? Just this whole thing, over me beating the shit out of him. He's such a baby..." Austin kissed Jon. "Lets go home relax a little." Jon nodded.


	29. Chapter 29

Jon sighed as he walked back to the car with Austin. He felt someone grab his arm. "Why did you do that?" "Because, you need to suffer in this relationship dad, I've done my five years of it." "What if I hit you right now?" "Hit me, because you cant beat the gay out of me more than i can beat the asshole out of you. How mom ever love you, for that matter how could anyone love you? I'm done with this conversation. Until you change you will never see me in your life ever again." Jon sat in the car as Austin consoled him. "Listen, Jon you can't let him control you like that." " hate to do this to you Austin, but, I'm moving back to New York. I know why I left. I should have never thought this was a good idea." Austin lightly kissed him. "I'm fine with what ever you choose. As long as your happy." Jon smiled. "Well, then I'll see what we can find first." Austin laughed. "That's good, lets get going." Austin held Jon's hand. "Are you sure you want to move Jon?" "Positive." Jon said as he clutched the wheel tighter. Austin sighed, "Back into the cold huh?" Jon laughed, "Hey at least it's not almost 80 degrees everyday." Austin nodded, "You should see Texas." Jon looked at Austin, "Are you sure you want to stay with me? After everything? All the...problems...with me?" "O-Of cource Jon, what kind of question is that?" "I know but, I mean...I've caused you so much shit why would you want to stay?" "Jon, you were a broken man, you had no one. I-I want to change that and right now we are going to pick up the pieces together and make sure that your happy." Jon sighed, "I..guess." Jon got out of the car as Arin lifted Jon's chin, giving him a kiss. "I'll be by your side no matter what.." Jon nodded as Austin said, "C'mon, we got stuff to do." Jon nodded as he walked into the backroom grabbing boxes. "What's first?" 

Jon sighed as he flopped on the bed. "God, we still have the couch and then bed, and the cage and-" "Yes Jon, I know.." Austin said as he wrapped up the last box. "For now lets get get to bed and we can worry about it in the morning." Jon nodded as he was so hot. "Damn it." "What?" "Dude, I gotta take a shower." "What do you mean?" Jon replied taking off his shirt, "I can't sleep when I am sweaty." Austin laughed a little, "What are you going to do then?" "Take a freezing cold shower." Austin burst into laughed as he wrapped his arms around Jon. "Sweaty or not your going to hate it." Austin kissed his head and his ear as Jon said, "I can take it.." Austin scoffed as he put on his Mario pajama pants sitting on the bed waiting for Jon. Jon promptly shut the door as Austin waited. He heard the shower as Jon went in. He heard Jon yell as he laughed. He could hear Jon groaning as it only took him a few minutes to get in and out. Jon was wrapped in a towel and his underwear, hair soaked in cold water. Jon shivered as Austin handed him his shirt. "Bit chilly?" Jon smiled, "Zip it." Austin smiled as he said, "Go make sure you hair is dry. It will make you head feel better." Jon sighed, "I don't do that.." Austin stared at him, "You....don't blow dry your hair?" Jon shook his head, "Then how the hell do you get you hair to be so fluffy?" "My fingers.." Austin dragged Jon up. Jon dramatically groaned as he said, "My hair is fine..." Austin placed Jon on the toilet seat. "Just sit and put you head up." Jon did so as seconds felt like hours. Jon felt the warm heat along with Austin's fingers, about twenty minutes later Jon was sleepy, warm, and groomed. "See? You look better." Jon looked at himself with his head back. He stared at Austin saying, "Can I go to bed now?" Austin smacked the back of Jon's head as Jon laughed, "Ow!" "Oh stop it your fine!" Jon smiled as he flopped into bed with Austin nuzzling into his arms. "Night Jon.." Austin kissed Jon as both of them went to sleep.


	30. Chapter 30

Jon sighed as he slightly opened his eyes to a blaring alarm. The clock said nine o'clock. He pressed the snooze button as he got up. Jon went out to the living room as Austin said, "Finally you're wake." Jon nodded, "Yeah..." He looked around the room, "When did you wake up?" "About three hours ago.." "And you pack literally everything without me?" Austin smiled, "I can do it." Jon laughed as he said, "Alright, but if you need me please just call me to help you. I don't want you breaking your back." "Okay Okay Mr. Macho man." Jon chuckled as he went into the bedroom grabbing his laptop. Jon surfed the web for a little trying to find an apartment. He found one that was pretty good. Austin climbed next to Jon. "Seem good for you?" Austin nodded. "Yeah, go ahead." Jon picked at his face a little. "What's wrong?" Jon looked up, "One of us has to go see the guy.." Austin looked at him, "Are you going to be okay?" Jon nodded. "I'm calling Shane." Jon nodded, "Fine by me. We'll pack up everything else." Austin nodded. Jon grabbed his phone as he dialed Shane's number. Jon leaned on the wall as Shane picked up, "Hey fuck face what do you need now?" Jon scoffed, "Always pulling my shit, Austin's going to be out for a while, and I need you to help me with the truck." Jon could hear Shane sigh, "Hey you fuckin' owe me one. Now get your ass over here." "Fine, as long as we drink at least a few beers." Jon sighed as he heard Austin shut the door, "Fine, but you can't tell him, he'll get pissed at me." "I'll be right over." Jon went into his bedroom as he got his Jeans on. Jon preferred to work with his shirt off, that's just how he was. Austin knew for a long time that Jon sweats quite a bit. Jon hated being confined, when he was hot he would try to cool off as fast as possible. Austin laughed at it periodically, sometimes Jon would have to do stunts for Jontron. Austin would see him as he would sit on the pavement s Ask Austin to bring him cold water. He would usually pour it on himself so that way he could stay cool. That's why Jon hated California for most of his life. He would constantly sweat. Jon sighed as he packed in box after box. Shane looked at him, "Need a hand?" "Yeah, get you ass up here." Shane laughed as he watched Jon go in and out of the house. "You just gonna stand there? C'mon help me, I'm sweating my balls off over here." Shane went inside as he grabbed a few, stacking them neatly into the truck. 

Jon sighed as he slammed the hatch shut. "Okay, everything is in." Jon went into the bedroom. Shane shut the door as he grabbed Jon's shoulders. Jon laughed as he turned around. Shane kissed him, Jon did nothing. Shane smiled kissing him mover as his hand went up Jon's shirt. Jon left go as he said, "Sh-Shane we can't do this. I-I'm not going to do that to Austin." Shane rolled his eyes as he grabbed Jon's collar, shoving him on the bed. "Now that I got you alone all you wanna do is run away...For once shut you fucking mouth and take it." Jon tried pushing Shane off as Shane started to take off his pants. Jon started to panic as he whimpered, "Shane please stop it~" Shane laughed, "C'mon, it feels good anyways, not that you would know.." Jon huffed as he said, "No!" Jon struggled as he felt his pants start to come off. Jon started to go into a episode as he huffed. Jon, with all his energy, kicked Shane's Chest knocking him off. Jon quickly pulled up his pants. He hurled himself in a ball as Shane stormed off back home. Jon started to cry into his knees as he tried of calm himself down.

Shane slammed the door. Jared kissed him as he said, "Get a lot done." "Don't.." Jared sighed, "What happened?" "Jon was being difficult." "Difficult? How?" "He got pissed at me. I tried being nice as kissing him but, obviously that didn't work..." "Wait, Wait, Wait..you did WHAT!?" "I was trying to be nice with Jon, but he wouldn't let me." "You tried...to touch Jon?" Shane nodded, "Fuckin' asshole." Jared shoved Shane. "You know he doesn't like that! Even with Austin! What the fuck is wrong with you!?" "Me? He was being a fucking moron!" "Is okay?" "Yeah, he's crying like the baby he is.." Jared Grunted as he rushed out the door. 

Jared knocked as Jon shot up. He was still trying to calm down from the situation. He got the door reluctantly as Jared looked at him. Jared hugged him tight as he said, "Are you okay?" Jon nodded as he clutched Jared. He could here Jon's voice hitch. Jared came in as he sat with Jon on the bed. "Why don't we watch a movie? Take you mind off of it?" Jon nodded as Jared put on a Disney movie. Jon let Jared cuddle him for a little as they continued to watch the movie.


	31. Chapter 31

Jared woke Jon up. "Hey, Jon I'm leaving. Austin is coming back in a few hours." Jon sat up in the dark as Jared turn on one of the lights. "Y-You won't tell him right?" "Jon..just-" "He's going to freak out please!" "I'm not but you will." Jon sighed. He went back to sleep trying to forget the situation. He didn't want to tell Austin. He didn't want Austin to make a fuss, he just wanted to stay in silence. He just wanted to live his life with Austin, not deal with this. It made him feel terrible. Like he did this. His whole life..has been nothing but problems. He's gone through hell, the only thing that's been keeping him going was Austin. He knew Austin cared about him, but sometimes it was for the best that Austin didn't know about things. He just wanted all his problems to go away. Jon couldn't sleep, all he could do is cry, because he wanted this to be a dream. To be a dream he can wake up from, Shane never touched him. Austin loved him, his father supported him, he didn't have mental issues. Austin shut the door as he wet into the bedroom. He saw Jon in a ball crying as he rushed over. "What happened? Where's Shane?" 

He hugged Jon tight as he said, "Jon..did he do anything else?" Jon shook his head. "I'm sorry.." "Austin..I just want to go.." "But-" "What happens in this house, stays in this house. I want to forget everything. Start new. Okay? Leave all our problems here. Start fresh and try to be better." "We can't brush this off." "Austin please! I just..I don't want to. That means it's a whole situation! I don't want that! Just I want new.." Austin sighed as he nodded. "Let's go, the only thing is for us to get our clothes on, we have a long drive." Jon put on his clothes as he threw the bag into the front of the truck. Jon got in as he said, "I'll drive mostly. It's like two days. I'll just live off of monsters." Austin nodded as he sat in the passenger seat. 

It had been almost six hours on the road and Jon was getting a little restless. He was getting a little irritated, then again anyone who drove in California acted like six-year olds. Austin was asleep. He got no sleep on the plane. Jon went to a gas station to pick up more monsters and go to the bathroom. Jon put six monsters and a bunch of other caffeinated drinks up on the counter. The guy looked at him, "Where you going?" "New york.." The man nodded as he handed Jon the bag. Jon got back into the truck as he opened a can. Austin was awake now. "You got something to keep you awake?" Jon nodded as he sipped the cold drink. He put the rest into the cooler as he said, "Go back to sleep, I got this." Austin was now wide awake. "C'mon, take a break." Jon rolled his eyes a he got out. He switched seats as he said, "Just be careful.." Austin smiled, "I will.." Jon nodded. It was getting night, they had stopped for fast food despite Jon only eating french fries and a coke. It was eleven and Jon insisted driving night shift.

Jon looked at the clock, twelve. They have been driving for almost twenty hours now. They were in Illinois now. It was close to morning on Jon was dead tired. They only had a few hours left. Jon sighed as his new life awaited. He wanted to be the best boyfriend to Austin as best as he could.


	32. Chapter 32

Jon sighed as they finally made it to New York. It felt like home to Jon, it was one of the few place he liked. Paul was there with them. He was waiting up stairs. Austin as Jon carried a few things inside as Paul waited for them on the elevator. Jon sighed as he looked at Austin, It's get the bed and couch in first. Big things, then little." Austin nodded. It took hours to get things up. Jon and Austin both were getting tired, but they persisted and made sure everything was in. It was almost six and the sun was setting. They finally got everything in. Jon was putting away stuff with Paul as Austin was returning the truck. "So, other than that why'd you move?" "I wanna surprise him." "With?" Jon held up a box. "I-I just need a right time to do it. Have this calm down a bit first." Paul patted Jon's back. "Takes guts to do that Jon. I'm proud of you." "I'm hoping to do it in front of times square. Just something, I dunno...romantic? I just want things to be nice, no hassle.." Paul nodded, "No yeah i get it." Jon sighed as he sat on the couch next to the bird cage, sticking his finger in as Jacques pecked him. Austin came in as he shut the door. He smiled as he sat next to Jon. "I actually missed the city.." Austin said chipperly. "Trust me Austin, I did too..Something about it, just makes you feel like you can escape the world.." "Yeah, its really cool." Jon smiled. Austin smiled back as he kissed Jon. "This is going to get so much better Jon..trust me we are going to change everything." Jon nodded. For once he was happy, something that rarely happened." "C-Can I take you to dinner? I-I want..to have something I never got." "What's that?" "A proper date.." Austin nodded as he kissed Jon's forehead. "Yeah.." Jon sighed contently. 

Jon was sitting at the table, Austin said he was coming. Jon checked his phone as Austin called. Jon fumbled to press the button as he said nervously, "H-Hey, a-are you almost here?" "Hey buddy, I got caught up at the office. Mel was teaching me a few things so, but I'm heading over right now. We set up the set just need to move the computers in." "B-But you're coming right?" "Yes Jon, please don't worry.." "I-I'll try." "Okay, I'll see you in fifteen minutes." Jon nodded as the waiter came over. "Sir are you ready to order?" "Pl-Please just a few ore minutes?" The waiter went back as he saw Austin walking in. Jon hugged Austin tightly as he said, "O-Okay, I was worrying just a little." Austin smiled as he held Jon's hand. He whispered softly, "You are such a handsome man.." Jon felt his face get a little warm. "I-I just really appreciate this. I never got this as a kid." Austin smiled, "I know, there's a lot of things you didn't get as a kid, but we can fix that.." "Austin?" "Yeah?" "I want this week to be just for us. Okay?" "Yeah.." "I wanna take you to the museum of natural history, Th-The statue of liberty, The Bronx zoo, central park. For this week and the last one is a surprise okay?" Austin nodded. He scoffed, "As much as you are handsome you are romantic." Jon smiled as he rubbed his neck. Jon sipped the beer as Austin did too. "So, I kinda never met your family.." Austin smiled warmly, "Yeah, they live in Texas too, just a few miles away. If you want Christmas is coming up, I'll introduce you. You can meet my brother and my sister. My parents aren't exactly...uh.." Jon cleared his throat, "They aren't your parents lets say that. They are so nice Jon, trust me my mom will love you." "Y-Your dad?" "Jon, my dad...well.." Jon rubbed his eyes, "I-I knew it, he hates me.." Austin chuckled, "No! He..He thinks that you...He's worried..." "What?" "He's worried about you. He wants to make sure your getting better." "But I-" "He loves you like a son. I just tell him, about you and he's worried that you might do something to yourself." "A-Austin, that's out of my system. You know tha-" "He's afraid that you'll die. Okay Jon? He loves you like he loves me. He loves you. He's just scared tat your not happy enough.." Jon nodded. "Okay, but I-I'm happy.." Austin sighed, "Well then he's going to be happy." Jon nodded as the food came. Jon dug in because he's been skipping meals again, even though Austin said to relax and eat. Austin stared as Jon said with a mouthful, "What?" Austin laughed a little as he pointed to hm mouth. Jon gave him a questioned look, Arin reached over as he whipped the corner of Jon's mouth. Jon smirked as they both ate the rest of their food. Jon sat back as he said, "Jeez, never felt this fucking good in a while." Austin laughed as they both grabbed the check. Jon yanked it as he looked at Austin, "I insist Austin..please.." Austin sighed, "Fine! But only this one time!" Jon nodded. They waited a little as Jon got up. Austin and him walked home as Austin kissed Jon. "Tonight was amazing Jon..who knew you were a romantic bear.." Jon laughed as he said, "I-I used to do stuff for charlie all the time.." Austin closed the door as he flopped on the couch. "Have a little time for a movie?" Jon sat down with him as Austin climbed into Jon's arms. "Your pick.." Austin looked up at Jon. "Transformers." "Of cource.."


	33. Chapter 33

Jon slammed his hand onto the alarm as he groaned. He looked over at Austin who was fast asleep. Jon quickly got into the shower as he was really excited for today. Jon quickly got out as he grabbed his clothes putting them on as he simultaneously brushed his teeth. Jon made sure his hair was okay as he grabbed his backpack. They were going to the hardrock cafe right after. Jon insisted that even though it was expensive it was worth it. Jon stuffed his laptop in as well as a few more things. Jon grabbed his wallet and his phone. Jon smiled as he wake up Austin. "Morning..." Austin said tiredly. Jon chuckled as he pecked Austin, "Come on Austin, you remember today?!" Austin nodded. "Five more minutes?" Jon sighed, "By the time I finish my beer you better be awake." Austin nodded as Jon watched the news. Jon pulled the box out of his pocket as he sighed, He was going to make the move very soon. The news said nothing new, just weather and sports. Stuff Jon didn't like, as Jon turned the channel it was just Steve Irwin, someone he liked. Austin came out as yawned, "You up yet?" Austin scoffed, "Yep." "Get dressed, we have to leave in like twenty minutes." Austin nodded as Jon waited patiently. Jon was anxious. This week was big, a big big step for Jon. Getting over everything. His future awaited. Jon smiled as he grabbed the keys. They both walked down the street to the train station. Jon had a big grin as he said, "I love you Austin.." Austin kissed Jon as Jon held his hand. Jon smiled as they got on their way to the zoo. 

Jon smiled as he said, "What's first?" "Birds?" Jon laughed, he really really liked birds. "Can we?" Austin smiled, "Of cource." "They got Macaws! And They have Eagles and-" Austin laughed as Jon went on and on. Austin sighed as he said, "You do your research huh?" "A-A lot of free time during college.." "Did you have a bird when you were a kid?" "Yeah, Jacques has been with me for ever. I got him when I was 16. I was having a tough time focusing and bought him. He is the best thing in my life, O-Other than you of-course." Austin giggled. "Jacques is adorable, it's okay to him in front of me." "No, I-I didn't mean it like that.." Jon got red as Austin smiled. Jon sighed as he looked over, "I-I'm sorry, both of you are important in my life. And so is, Azura." Austin started to properly laugh now, "Azura is now in the picture? I thought you hated dogs!" "No! Dogs are great! I just don't like cats, they don't like me either." "Why because they eat birds?" "Yes!" "Not all cats eat birds Jon." Jon started to laugh now too. "Well, they can.." "So can dogs! And Birds! Anything can eat birds!" Jon scoffed as Austin heard a soft, "Pfft." Jon leaned over the edge as he watched the Macaws. Austin kissed Jon's shoulder, as he laid his head next to Jon's. "We had to take our pets to school once...me and another guy got into a fight..sent to the principles and suspended..." Austin chuckled. "Oh?" "Yeah....My dad could ht me, but if he or anyone laid a finger on Jacques I would go ballistic." "I suppose thats what got you into that mess huh?" Jon nodded. "Yeaaah...not too good of a day for him." 

Jon grabbed his backpack as carried the cage. "Where the hell you think your taking that flying rat!" "H-He's not a rat! And we have to take our pets to school." His dad scoffed as Jon walked to the school. He didn't want to deal with his dad this morning, despite last nights bruises. Jon sat in class as he set the cage down. He pushed his finger though the cage as he pet Jacques. Jon smiled as he continued to pet Jacques. The teacher came in as she smiled. Most people had dogs, or cats. There were a few people like Jon had rarer pets, some had snakes, ferrets or iguanas. There was one other person who had a bird, Charlie. Jon and him were going to do it together, Charlie had taught the birds how to do tricks. They were planning on showing the trick. As the teacher called up everyone to introduce their pets Jon and charlie were called up. Jon put Jacques on his shoulder as Jon smiled, "I have a green cheek conure named Jacques, and that is bingo. Jacques and bingo both can do tricks." Jon let Jacques climb on Charlies arm as Jon got a fair distance away from Charlie. Jon sat down on the floor as Jacques. Jon whistled at Jacques as he flew to Jon shoulders. "Pretty boy.." Jon said. Jacques mimicked him, "Pretty boy, pretty boy, Jon is a pretty boy." Jon laughed as he grabbed Jon kissing him. "Any questions for Jon and Charlie?" "Does Jacques bite?" "The only time he does is if he can tell you are hurting me or Charlie. That, or if you try to grab him really fast. " "Is Jacques ever going to be a dad?" "I'll try to keep him away from female but, i can't help if he does." Jon stared at one of the guys as he asked, "So, that you bird huh?" The guy walked up to Jacques as he grabbed him from Jon's shoulder. "Hey! Be careful with him!" As the guy squeezed his hand he said, "Easy to crush these little fuckers." Jacques squawked as Jon said trying to grab him. "Stop it! Your hurting him!" "He's fine.." "No stop it! I know when he's scared!" Jon saw that Jacques was uncomfortable as Jon yelled. "Give him the fuck back! He's my bird!" The guy ripped away as he smiled. "No.." Jon sighed, He knew he was going to get an ass whooping for this but he didn't care. He punched the guy in the face as he grabbed Jacques putting him in the cage. "HEY!" The teacher yelled. Jon punched him again as Charlie put Bingo n with Jacques taking the cage. "Don't touch my fucking bird!" Jon said as he punched him again. Jon tackled the guy down as the teachers pulled them apart. Jon and the boy were put in the principles office as the principle stared at Jon. "Why did you hit him?" "He was hurting my bird." "He wasn't dead though was he?" "No, but-" "Then the bird was fine in his hands.." "No Jacques was uncomfortable!" "No he wasn't." Jon huffed, he was pissed. "I'm sorry? Do you own a fucking bird?! Do you know when a bird is upset?! No?! Then you don't know." "If Jacques was dead on the floor it would be a different story. he deserved it, I don't give a fuck if you suspend me okay? You can kiss my ass. That bird is everything to me!!" "I'm calling your father!" "Do it!" The principle called Jon's father as he answered. "Hello?" "Is this Mr. Jafari?" "Speaking?" "Your son is suspended for five days?" "What the fuck? What the hell did he do?" "He punched another kid." "Did he have a good reason?" "There is no good reason.." "Why did he do it?" "Because a boy was holding his bird too tight?" "He was hurting him!" Jon yelled. "Jon? What did he do to that fucking thing?" "He started to hold Jacques tight and he was hurting Jacques. I punched him because he wouldn't give me Jacques back." "Well good, he deserved it." "Mr. Jafari, you son punched another child, that is wrong." "No, mishandling a pet is wrong. If Jacques was being hurt then he deserved it. Which he did. I'll pick up Jon in a little." The principle sighed as he let Jon stay in the lobby. Charlie came out handing Jon the cage as Jon nodded. "Thanks Charlie.." Jon got into the car as his dad said, "As much as I hate that little thing , he's yours so...I have to defend you." Jon nodded as he said, "I'm sorry.." "Yeah..just stay in your room for the rest of the week." "O-Okay.."


	34. Chapter 34

Jon threw his jacket on as he smiled. "Walk or subway? It's a while away so.." "Subway, faster.." Jon nodded as the ducked down into a station. The subway was usually crowded but because it was early in the morning Jon and Austin got to sit down. Jon laughed a little as Austin leaned in his arms. Jon kissed Austins head as he held him close. 

Austin sighed, he was sweating bullets. He walked out as he looked at his dad. "H-Hey dad?" "Hey Aust, what's up." "C-Can we talk?" "Yeah, just give it two seconds." As Austin waited patiently for commercial it came. "What's up kiddo?" "Uh..I just wanted to say that..I..I'm gay.." His dad laughed. "Cool, I'm still gonna be a grandpa though right?" "Yeah?" His dad roughed up Austin's hair a little as he smiled, "One rule.." "Yeah?" "Condoms still apply, I don't want you getting diseases." Austin nodded. A reaction that went better that expected. 

Jon walked up the stairs he took Austin picture. Jon giggled as Austin pecked him. "It's huge! I can't believe the french could build such a thing for us." "Yeah, It's old though so different times." "True.." "A symbol of freedom." "I love you.." Jon muttered. "I love you too.." Jon sighed contently as he hugged Austin.

Jon sighed as he drank another beer. A knock was at his door as he drunkenly said,"C-Come the fuck in!" "Hey, are you Jon?" "What's it to ya?" "I-I wanted to a-audition?" Jon chuckled. "This isn't a play, an interview.." "O-Okay." Jon stood up as he started at the guy. Jon guzzled his beer as he stared at Austin. "You play video games?" "Yeah.." "Favorite console?" "SNES." "How old are you?" "N-Nineteen.." Jon slapped the side of Austin's arm as he said, "Don't be so fuckin' nervous, I'm not gonna hurt you.." Austin nodded as Jon scoffed at him. "What?" Austin asked with a little move confidence." Jon turned around grabbing another beer from the case as he said, "What are ya? Some kinda fag?" "W-What?!" Jon rolled his eyes as he popped the cap off. "Do you like sucking dick?" "H-How do you know?" "You dress like it.." "Your rude.." "Honesty is not being rude." Austin sat next to Jon as he said, "Have you ever kissed a guy?" Jon hesitated. "No, I haven't." Austin smiled as he grabbed Jon. Austin kissed his for a few seconds. Jon was backing up, until..he did. "Wait, Wait, Wait. Listen, dude, You seem like a nice guy but uh..I'm not gay.." Austin seemed a little confused, he had a few gay tenancies. The way he came off and stuff. 

Jon smiled as he scanned his card. "Membership pass?" "I really like dinosaurs here. They have a shit ton of them.." "Jon, it's a museum, they are supposed to.." "I know! I know!" Jon laughed as he said, "Okay Dino's in a minute, but can we please see the sea creatures, space and evolution first?!" Austin laughed as he grabbed Jon kissing him. As Austin pressed his forehead against Jon's he whispered, "You so cute when your geeky." Jon giggled as he kissed Austin again before venturing on. As Jon and Austin went from exhibit to exhibit Jon was more fascinated by everything. Other than games Jon loved science. Sometimes Jon would really get into it and would talk to Austin about it for hours. 

Jon nodded as he grabbed it from his friend's hand. "Stop fuckin' hogging it.." Jon took a hit as he coughed a little. Austin sighed. He couldn't take it anymore. Austin got up grabbing it from his hand as Austin flicked it. He slapped on across the face as he yelled, "Don't fucking smoke that shit! You'll get addicted!" "Fucking ow!" "Too bad! Stop doing fucking drugs!" Jon sighed as he said, "You can try as much as you want but are not taking beer away from me." "Fine, but that's it! No weed!" Jon groaned. "No coke.." "Fuck off! Are you kidding me?!" "And no, heroine!" "That's his thing not mine." "Yeah but you did it a few times." Jon nodded as he huffed crossing his arms as he angrily sat down. 

As Austin laughed Jon wiped his mouth off. Jon said with a mouthful, "The rubens are really..good!" "Don't choke.." Jon nodded as he swallowed it. "I love you..." Jon said as he stared at Austin. Austin blushed as he replied, "Well I love you too.." Jon nodded.

Jon opened the door as he closed it. "Jeez, I'm still hungry.." Austin nodded. "Pizza?" "You know it!" "Okay, I'll be back in a little then.." Jon nodded. As soon as Austin left Jon grabbed Austin's phone. He dialed a number. "Hey Aust-" "M-Mr. Hargrave?" "Oh Hey Jon, what's on your mind bud?" "You know how me and Austin have...kinda been together for about a year?" "Oh of cource!" "Well I've been meaning to ask you this, tomorrow...I plan on doing something special...if you know what I mean. C-Can I make sure that your okay with it?" "Oh! Yes! One hundred percent! I'm so glad! An early congrats from me." "Thank you so much!" "No problem Jon. Have a good night." Jon smiled as he hung up. He made a mad, but audible, "Yes!!" Austin came back, "What?" "F-Found the best movie ever.." Austin giggled as he put two slices of pizza on the plates before sitting down with Jon. Jon kissed Austin's cheek as Austin kissed him back. Jon turned on the movie as he happily ate his pizza. 


	35. Chapter 35

Jon hit the alarm on his clock. Austin was sound asleep. As Jon grabbed the best clothes he could find he hopped into the shower. Jon made sure he was completely clean. As Jon got out and put his clothes on he looked out. Austin was still sleeping. Jon grabbed his razor as he decided, might as well trim himself a little. Jon snipped some here and there and almost an hour later Jon looked a lot better. Jon peeked out as Austin was now up and running. Jon chuckled at Austin struggling to e tout of bed as he Jon quickly threw on some cologne. Austin sighed as he looked at Jon. Jon kissed Austin's forehead as he said, "Someone woke up?" Austin nodded as he traded places with Jon. As Jon grabbed something from the dresser Austin came out. "Okay Ready?" Austin nodded. Jon went downstairs as he got into the car. Jon looked at he passed by buildings after buildings. They finally got to central park as Jon held Austin's hand as he said, "Remember when you first met me?" Austin nodded. "You..were drunk off your ass.." "Not my best moment.." Austin grinned as he said, "Yeah.." "And your remember when you first kissed me?" Austin turned bright red. "Yeah...sorry.." "N-No no! It...was one of those things where I couldn't exactly explain how I felt...but it was somewhat good.." "I know.." "How? I don't think ever-" "You grabbed you pant's.." "What I-I didn-" Austin laughed. "Not like that, I mean you left doing that thing where you grab you pant leg, when your nervous." "Oh..yeah..I kinda do that." Austin kissed Jon as Austin grabbed Jon's hand squeezing it a little as he untangled Jon's clenched hand. Austin kept kissing Jon as he grabbed Jon's waist. Jon smiled as both of them relaxed a little. "You doing okay?" "Huh-What?" "Are you okay Jon?" "Yeah.." "You've just been a bit on edge lately.." Jon cleared his throat. "Just today is the best right now.." Austin nodded. "I couldn't have picked a better man to be with." This made Jon feel weird and giddy inside. Every time Austin complimented him. "Really? But there is so many other guys that look better than me.. I mean I'm fat, I'm-" "No, Jon your not fat...c'mon.." Jon huffed. "I-I know but I got a big gut and-" Austin sighed as he cupped Jon's cheek, "You, are the most handsome man I have ever met..don't think any less okay?" Jon nodded as he let out a small huff. There was a small silent pause as Jon looked over. "E-Even how I wear shorts and not pants or the way I wear-" "Jon!" Jon nodded. "Wanna self degrade? Fine! I look like shaggy from scooby doo.." Jon burst into laughed. "You do!" Jon said in broken laughs. Austin scoffed. "You look like Josh peck!" Jon looked over as Austin started to laugh next. "You asshole! I do not! Fine! If I'm Josh! Your Drake!" "Okay! Okay! You got me there!" "Scooby snack?" "Fuckin-you are my scooby snack.." Jon grew to be red as he said a little off guard, "W-Wait are you calling me a snack? What?" "I'm calling you fucking handsome again.." Jon snickered as he hugged Austin. Austin replied, "Can I still keep you hoodies though?" "They are way too big on you though.." "Duh..that the whole point Jon, plus...it kinda smells like you." "Oh really? Yeah? It's not like I wear them or anything.." Austin loved Jon's jokes too. "Yeah..The bed is when you sleep in them.." "How?" "When you sleep, you curl you body..and you put your head into your arms.." Jon nodded. "Yeah..force of habit." "Really?" "Yeah..do I look cute though?" "Of cource you look cute! Your a fuzzy sleeping thing!" Austin as Jon just kept talking about all their experiences. It was funny how they knew almost everything about each other but never what they went through. Jon has been through a bunch of stuff that Austin couldn't even imagine. Jon was a complete party animal when he was twenty two but that was a distraction. Austin has apparently never been to college. Jon went through two years of community college but quit because of the cost. Jon looked at his phone as he said, "Shit, we better get to the place quick!" "Why?" "It's almost six and in hell's kitchen they are kinda stingy about reservations." "Well, then let's go!" As Jon and Austin got to the resturant Jon was a few minutes a few minutes late. "Hey, I kinda had a reservation at 6?" "Last name?" "J-Jafari?" "Yes, right this way." Jon let out a sigh of relief as they both sat down. Austin looked at him a little impressed by the scenery as he said, "Jesus looks like a jungle in here." Jon nodded. Austin giggled a little as he said, "Might as well call you Jafari Safari huh?" Jon chuckled as he gazed at Austin. "I don't think I've ever seen you in too many suits..." "Nope, never.." Austin nodded. "Why?" "Uh...they are kinda uncomfortable.." "Really?" Jon sighed, "No...I just uh..I never exactly had the chance to buy one." "Ever seen yourself in one?" "Once or twice but I don't exactly remember it. I only did it when we had to go to my dad's jesus lecture bullshit." "Ah.." "Yeah, but other than that no." Jon saw the waiter put the food in front of them. Jon ate his food as he said, "I've never seen you in a suit either." Austin nodded. "Not a big fan of me in them." Jon smiled, "You would look good in a suit.." "Really? I dunno, I always thought I looked weird." Jon gave him a puzzled look. "You wouldn't look weird..you'd look nice." Austin sighed contently as he said, "Jeez man, the food was really good.." Jon agreed. "Yeah, Me Arin and Paul would come here a lot." As on grabbed the check Austin rolled his eyes. "Jon-" "Austin, don't try to make this a big deal, I am paying that is final." Austin mocked, "Okaaay! Fine.." Jon nodded as he grabbed his jacket before coming out. "Wanna see times square really quick before we go home?" "Yeah, why not." As Jon walked towards the bright advertisements Jon looked over at Austin. "Cool right?" "Yeah, something about it makes you wanna stare." Austin smiled at Jon pecking him as Jon looked at hm with a big smile. Jon quickly grabbed something from his pocket as he swiftly got on one knee. Austin stared at him as he scoffed. "Fuck...off.." Austin muttered. Aust covered his mouth as he stared at Jon who was clearly kinda nervous. "Y-You really have made my life the best. I-I can't thank you enough for that...a-and...I-I've wanted to ask...W-Will you marry me?" Austin laughed a little as he grabbed Jon kissing him. They kissed for a really long time but Austin was just so happy. "S-So that's a yes?" "Yes you adorable little potato!" Jon smiled as he kissed Austin again. 

Jon grabbed the edge of the counter as Austin continued to kiss him. Jon took off his jacket throwing it to the side as Austin grinned. Austin got on his knees unbuttoning Jon's pants as Jon laughed. Jon put his head up as he moaned. "A-Austin~" 

Jon sighed as he sat on the couch. Austin looked at him. "Feel better?" Jon caught his breath as he said, "Haven't felt like that in a very long time." Austin nodded. "Well, it's late...we should get to bed.." "Yeah..we should." Jon got up as he climbed in bed with Austin. Jon threw his arm around Austin's waist as he pulled him closer. Jon pressed his lips against Austin's neck, giving him a kissed as Austin said, "Tonight is a day I'll never forget Jon. Thanks. I love you so much." "I love you too Austin, more than ever." 


	36. Chapter 36

\- a few months later - 

Jon sighed as he sat down. "You okay?" "No, Yeah I'm fine Jirard.." "Your sure?" "Yeah just really nervous.." Jirard patted Jon's back as he handed him something. "drink something man, haven't had anything since we got here. Jon nodded as he opened the water bottle. Jon put it back down as he got up. "Okay! Let's do this.." Jon when into the room as he striped. He put on his pant's and shoes, but his shirt was a different story. Jon came back out as he buttoned up his shirt, "Uh guys?" "What's up?" Jared looked over. "Your tie is backwards Jon.." "I know that Jared! I need help with it." Jared nodded as he put on his jacket. He helped Jon tie it as he said sarcastically, "Pops never helped?" Jirard punched Jared in the should as Jared cleared his throat. "O-Okay, well we'd better get dressed too, I know Chris and Zach are arriving very soon. They got dressed early this morning so they can set up so, your good." 

Austin smiled as his mom kissed him. "Your such a handsome young man Austin.." "Thanks mom." "I'm so proud of ya Aust.." "Thanks Dad." Austin smiled as his sister and brother looked at him. "Okay, gotta say, you look pretty dapper AJ.." "Uh god! Quit it with the name!" Austin said laughing. Austin came out as he helped set up. Jon was at the after party making sure everything was going good. Jon cared about the wedding but, not as much as Austin did. Jon wanted Austin to choose everything. It was Austin's wedding in Jon's eyes. It was his special day. Jon didn't exactly have family coming, his mom was the only one. Jon looked at Jirard, "Okay! Now it's just the tech we have to set up." Jirard smiled, "I'll get that done, Jon can you make sure that theres six seat?" "Yeah..the card are going to go up in a second." Jon turned around as his mom hugged him. Jon sighed as he hugged her tightly. "I'm really glad you could make it...." "Yeah! I'm really proud of you Jon, and again I'm-" "Mom, you know damn well what he did, you didn't do shit." "I know..well..I love you so much.." Jon smiled. "I love you too ma." Jon sighed as he sat in the seat. "Jon you okay?" Jon sighed as he ran his finger through his hair. "Yeah, just really excited and stressed and tired right now.." "We got this man, relax a little." Jon nodded as he smiled. "Hopefully we can get this done in an hour like Austin said." 

Jon sighed as Jirard looked over, "Ten minutes until everything. I'm really happy for you Jon..You've been through a lot to get here." Jon smiled as he patted Jirard's back, "Yeah well, if it wasn't for him I would have never been in this position." "You Ready?" "Ready as I'll ever be.." Jon got up as he couldn't stop smiling. He was just really happy that today he could finally be himself, no restrictions. As Jon's walked down the alter and stood in place. Austin came down next. Jon has never seen Austin in a suit and when Jon laid his eyes on Austin, it was a wave of emotions. Jon couldn't really explain how amazing Austin looked. Jon couldn't stop staring, it made Austin laugh a little. Jon looked over at Austin who was also smiling quite a bit. Austin was astounded at how classy Jon looked. Jon always thought he looked terrible in suits, or that he it didn't fit him well. Austin, could beg to differ. As the pastor kept talking Jon kinda zoned out. Jon just kept staring into Austin's bright emerald eyes. Both of them couldn't comprehend that this was actually happening. It was so fairy-tale like. Jon never thought that Austin would say yes, but here they were. Austin thought that Jon wouldn't love him anymore but..here they were, together, getting married. A dream that they both shared for a few months. A dream Jon dreamed for years, to get married to the love of his life, and having the perfect family. Jon jumped a little as the pastor asked, "Do you Jon Jafari take Austin Hargrave to be your lawful husband.." Jon waited for him to finish but, Jon was jumping out of his skin. "Yes!" Jon said eagerly. Jon could see Austin smiling back at him as he said, "I do." Jon and Austin shared a kiss, one that felt different. It felt so much better. It felt like fore once things were going in a good direction. As Jon laughed everyone was hugging them. Jared punched Jon in the arm as he roughed him up a little. Jon smiled as his mom gave him a huge hug. Jirard gave Jon the biggest bear hug in the world. "Uh-J-Jirard?" "Yeah?" "I-It hurts.." Jirard let go as he chuckled, "Sorry." As Jon opened the door for Austin he was stopped. "Hey, uh it's at the cabin I believe Jirard-" "Listen.." Jon scoffed. "What the fuck are _you_ doing here..." "I know, you hate me but..." He sighed. "The best way I can put it is I'm sorry, And I know your going to hate me for years but...listen..okay? That's all I ask.." "Make it Quick, we got somewhere to be.." "Jon, I love you okay? Just...I'm proud of you..and I know you don't hear that alot but, fuck Jon..I really am proud of you. I should have never fucking treated you like that When you were little. I'm so so sorry..I-I just wanted to let you know how proud I was of you..and Austin.." Jon nodded. Jon hugged his dad as he said, "I'm not going to forgive you right now and here..you have a lot to work at but..I'm glad that your hear okay?" He nodded. "I love you too dad.." He smiled as he said, "Don't take it too rough okay Dad? Just talk to mom, forget me, she's the person your gonna wanna talk to." As Jon got in Austin looked at him. "Who was it?" "My dad.." "H-He came?" "Yeah, he just wanted to say he loved me and he's sorry and he's very proud of me.." "Ah...Are you okay?" "Yeah, Yeah, I'm fine. Just kinda surprised that...he'd show up..to say sorry.." Austin rubbed Jon's back as he smiled at him. 

It was way past night, almost ten but that was fine. Everyone had ate, Jared, Jirard and Austin's brother had all caught up with Jon. Austin stood up as he held up a drink, getting everyone's attention. Jon laughed a little as Austin said, "Today was amazing so I'd like to toast to the man who made my life, a hell of a lot better....to you Jon.." Everyone agreed as Jon became a bright pink. Jon got up as they got to the dance floor. Jon wasn't good at Dancing, in fact he was horrible, but he was good at slow dancing, ever since his mom taught him. Jon lightly pecked Austin as he said, "I know that today was great but, I really owe my whole fucking life to you." Austin said softly, "Jon, having you as my husband is your payment..your so nice, and charming..I wouldn't want to be with another man. Don't worry about owing me." Jon nodded as he looked at Jared, who was smiling and giving him thumbs up. Jon looked up as he said, "Get you fuckin' asses over here!" Everyone Join them on the dance floor as they danced. Jon sat out because he was not going to dance. Jon sipped on the cold beer that Jirard snuck in. Jon laughed as he watched Austin dance. Jon rolled up his sleeves as he crossed his arms. Austin was smiling as Jon rolled his eyes. "C'mon it's fun!" "No..No..I don't dance Austin." Austin grabbed Jon's arm yanking him up as Jon sighed. "What?" Austin laughed. "Dance!" "I can't.." Austin smiled as he grabbed Jon shaking him. "It's easy!!" Jon sighed as he did some stupid dance. Austin laughed as he said, "There see! Fun!" "Yeah...I guess..." Austin kissed Jon as he said, "You are so stubborn!" Jon nodded, "Tell me about it.." 

Jon looked over as Austin said, "Don't tell me you don' like cake.." Jon scoffed. "Hey! I'm stubborn but not that stubborn!" As Jon guided Austin's hand to cut the cake. They both grabbed a small piece as they fed it to each other. Austin kinda missed Jon's mouth, making it that Jon had cake all over. Jon quickly wiped off his face as they all sat down. Jon ate the piece of cake as Jon talked with Austin's sister. "So, your okay with kids?" She nodded. "Anything for my little bro and you Jon." Jon smiled. The party died down as everyone started to leave. Jon and Austin cleaned up before going back to the cabin. 

Jon flopped on the bed as he sighed contently. "I'm so tired." Austin nodded. "Me too..I just wanna go to bed." As they both got into their pajamas Jon held Austin in his arms. "I love you god damn much Austin." Jon kissed Austin's head as Austin replied before yawning, "I love you too Jon..and thanks for today.." 


	37. Chapter 37

Jon flipped on he switch as he said, "C'mon boys, let's go!" Jon went to the next room as he smiled, "Morning ladies, I suggest you get out of bed before he finds you." "Do we have to?" "Austin right in the next room, he will chew you out if your not ready by 8." Jon came out as kissed Kissed Austin, "So? Boy's are getting dress, as for the girls...not likely, probably push it to 8:30.." "Well then, I'll talk to them." "Hey! Easy okay?" "What? Why?" "Shark week." "Oh, jeez. Fine.." Jon smiled as he checked on them. Jon laughed a little as he said, "Morgan, you need pant's to go to school.." Morgan groaned as he sighed, "FINE!" Noah came out as Emma sighed, "Do I really have to go I mean I can just skip-" Jon scoffed, "You are not skipping highschool, these years count the most!" "Yeah! Daddy can we not go to school?" "Emma, your rubbing off on Noah.." "It's not my fault he's stupid." "He's not stupid be nice." Austin sighed as he rubbed his eyes. "Okay, well Jon we have a meeting today.." "Satch and Jare okay?" "Yeah, just behind." Jon nodded as sighed. "I'll make guys a deal, got to school and MAYBE i'll take you to lion king." "Lion king? Now way! Really?!" "Not so fast, you have to get to school first." They nodded as Jon handed them the backpacks. As they started to leave Jon sighed, "Emma.." "What?" "Forgetting something?" "Uh no.." "Metro card, you can't get to school without it." "R-Right sorry.." "Don't be sorry just remember." She nodded as they went off. Jon went to the computer to as he made sure the tickets were paid for. Jon spoiled them a tiny bit, Austin was the one to put his foot down sometimes. Jon sighed as today was his day off. All his stuff was edited and he could relax for a few hours. 

Jon sighed as he woke up, "Shit.." It was four and the kids would be home at any minute. Jon got up as they all walked in not a second later. "Oh god, sorry guys just been a little exhausted lately uh, why don't you guys get your homework done first and then I'll surprise ya okay?" Emma smiled as she hugged Jon. "Listen, relax okay? I-I know I'm fifteen but, I can take care of them. You and dad need a break okay?" Jon chuckled, "Okay! Okay.." Jon went into the bedroom as he went to take a shower. Nothing like calming down with a nice warm shower. Jon was probably in the shower for an hour or two. Jon finally decided to come out as he chucked the red bull into the garbage. Jon put on some clothes as he grabbed the keys, "Okay, who's ready to see some lions?" Everyone smiled as they piled into the car. "Okay so we have an hour, thought the park might be a good idea?" Every agreed as Jon smiled. As they kids ran Jon stared at Morgan. Jon held up a baseball, "Up for some catch?" Morgan smiled, He knew that his two dad we're really busy with work. And he understood that because he and Emma were the oldest, there was a lot of pressure put on them. It was times like this that he couldn't get with Jon and Austin. Jon threw the ball as he threw it back. "What's on your mind?" "What do you mean?" "I know when something's up Morgan." "No.." "C'mon, lay it on me. I've been through hell and back. I'm sure I can handle a talk.." "O-Okay..I.." Morgan was silent. "I kinda think I'm into guys.." Jon nodded. "Alright.." Jon sighed. "You do you Morgan, I'm okay with it." "Yeah?" "Of cource..listen can I tell you something?" "Yeah?" "When I was a kid, my dad didn't have the reaction I did, and it took almost fifteen years for my dad to come around, but the point is I don't care who you like...it's your business..and don't let anyone tell you that your wrong..okay?" "Yeah..Yeah I know.." "Are you getting picked on in school?" Morgan was silent. "By who.." "H-His name is Chris, he lives across the street and he just calls me names.." Jon stopped for a second as he said, "What?" "Dad please don't over react." "Morgan, I'm not fucking around what the hell did he say?" "He called me a fag okay?! I-I don't wanna talk about it.." "Dad, c'mon please just don't do anything!" "We'll see about that.." Morgan groaned as he said, "I know what your going to do..." "I'm not going to do anything, it's you who's gonna do it.." "What?!" "Sock that asshole in the face and see what he says then." "W-Wait your letting me do that?" "He fucked with you, it's time for some pay back.." Morgan smiled as he said, "That's so cool!" Jon nodded. "Just don't go overboard." He nodded as Austin met up with them. "So?" "So...Morgan's getting picked on.." "Shit what did the guy do?" "Don't worry about it..but what you will have the worry about is who's paying the check tonight for dinner!" Austin groaned, "Fucking ass hat!" Jon laughed as he went to the Broadway play with them. Jon laughed as he's seen Lion kind almost one-thousand times, but everyone was pretty impressed. As they all tiredly trailed off to bed as Jon said, "No TV tonight guys, we have to go to grandma and grandpa's tomorrow.. and they may or may not have gotten you guys something." Everyone excitedly went to bed as Jon sighed climbing into bed with Austin. "Tired Jon?" "I can't even describe it. They're a handful but I love them." Austin smiled as he pecked Jon. "Night..Love you.." Jon chuckled, "I love you too, all of you..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is officially the end of the story hope you liked reading it


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